My Why

If you've been around me on social media for any length of time, you know that I post.  A lot.  I know that.  I always have some new fund raising idea or side hustle.  Some of you may wonder why you still follow me at all. 

I post about Plexus.

And Color Street.

And my knitting business.

And waiting kids.

And adopting families.

Sometimes I even post about what other people are selling or doing.

Basically, it probably looks like I'm always trying to raise money one way or another.  

But hang with me! 

I also post teaching memes.  (Because I can't post actual stories about teaching.)

And about my annual trip to Mexico and our other travels.

A little bit about farm life.  

And I mix it all up with Sara stories and pictures and videos.

But I post everything I do for a reason.  And the reason all leads back to this girl.

This girl is my why.  

I post about Plexus because being healthy makes me a better mom to her.

And Color Street because I'm committed to raising money for adopting families and waiting children while getting our little family into a position where we can live debt free and I can plan for her financial future.

And my knitting business because I love knitting and helping others where I can with the money I make.

And waiting kids because every child deserves a family just as much as she does.

And adopting families because so many people helped me get this little girl home.  I will always be indebted to them for helping me create my little family.  I strive to provide that kind of encouragement to other families.  

Sometimes I even post about what other people are selling or doing because I want to encourage others who have a heart to help those less fortunate.

Basically, it probably looks like I'm always trying to raise money one way or another.  Because I am.  If I can find a product that you need/want/will buy anyway, why not let you know that you can your purchase can help others and not just a big company?

But hang with me! 

I also post teaching memes.  (Because I can't post actual stories about teaching.)  I wish I could share more of my actual teaching stories.  Teaching is such a big part of who I am and what I do.  My love for my students is what made me decide to adopt a child with Down syndrome.  

And about my annual trip to Mexico and our other travels because I firmly believe that live was not meant to be lived in one place.  There is so much out there to see and experience.

A little bit about farm life because who doesn't want to know about baby goats?

And I mix it all up with Sara stories and pictures and videos because she is my why.  I strive to keep it real.  Not every day is a picnic.  Some are just hard.  But in between those rough moments are the hilarious, sassy, funny moments with my girl that make this life all worth it.  

But I post everything I do for a reason.  And the reason all leads back to this girl.

Our Story

I've been asked to write a bit of our story for a Facebook page/blog.  So, here's the quick and dirty version of finding and adopting Sara.  And an update on how she's doing now since it's been way too long since I've done one of those.  

In 2008, I moved to Mexico to work with kids with special needs.  9 months later, I was suddenly back in Illinois with no idea where my life was headed.  I had a job I loved and some amazing friends.  My life was good but I was looking for more.  I wanted to be a mom.  I started looking into adoption.  Specifically, I was looking into local options for adopting a child with Down syndrome.  As a special education teacher, I always loved my students with Down syndrome and was just drawn to them.  I felt like I was chasing my own tail and quickly became discouraged.  I didn't think that a birth family would ever choose a single mom.  At some point during that time, a friend showed me the Reece's Rainbow website but I dismissed the idea of international adoption without looking into it at all.  

In December 2011, I was spending Christmas break in New York with my family.  My mom called me into the kitchen to watch a news story.  This news story changed my life.  

I returned to Illinois in January and started researching Reece's Rainbow.  I wrote a very vague blog post on January 1st hinting at the future.  I read about the process and the funding options.  I read about single adoption and Down syndrome.  I read profiles of kids and thought about the best options for me.  I sent a Facebook message to all of my favorite single and adoptive moms and closest friends asking them if I was completely crazy.  They told me that I wasn't so I started moving forward.  

I decided that the best fit for me would be a girl, at least 3, with Down syndrome but minimal medical problems in a Latin American country since I speak Spanish.  I thought I had found her but was told that the girl I was interested in had a family coming.  The contact at Reece's Rainbow sent me a picture and a short description of a little girl that hadn't even been posted yet.  

I saw that picture and jumped in with both feet and didn't look back.  My profile went live on Reece's Rainbow in February and I spent the next year working, fund raising, paper chasing, and preparing.  It was a whirlwind.  Half the time I thought this was the best thing I could be doing with my life.  The other half of the time I was in a complete panic.

I flew to Colombia on January 12, 2013 and met Sara on January 14th.  

She was tiny and timid and perfect.  (And she bit me.  A lot.)  She was almost 4 1/2 and in a size 2T.  She knew about 5 words in Spanish but was able to use a lot of gestures and noises to make her needs and wants understood.  She refused to repeat words and seemed to have no interest in speaking any more than she did.

She had a rash on her face and a perpetually green, snotty nose.  The bags under her eyes were huge.  Her hair was thin and wispy and an odd red color.  She was scared of everything.  The dog in the hotel and the fountain at the mall were especially disturbing.  She cowered easily and was scared of anyone who made sudden movements.  

She was goofy and stubborn and fun.  She learned sign language incredibly quickly and started growing immediately.  She grew out of her 2T clothes in the 7 1/2 weeks we were in Colombia.  She was independent, potty trained, and able to dress and feed herself.  She didn't need a mommy but she let me hang around anyway.  

We arrived in the United States on March 7, 2013.  She became America's newest citizen and we really started our lives together.  

In our five years together, she has gone from a tiny, timid toddler to a confident, spunky, hilarious big girl.  She has traveled to more than half of the states, Mexico, and Canada.  She loves to fly and is a great road tripper.  

She loves school and is getting Physical therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech therapy and educational services.  She talks.  All the time.  Constantly.  She repeats everything.  She has a great sense of humor and she loves adventure and new experiences.  

She is adored by her grandparents and all of my friends.  We go to a church that loves and accepts her.  

She takes dance classes with other girls her age.  She plays all kinds of sports with other kids with special needs.  

She's been a flower girl three times. 

We've survived two cataract surgeries and a tonsil removal.  

 She loves her mommy more than anything and I cannot imagine life without her!  

I'd say, she's doing pretty well.  

Have a Child with Down Syndrome, Will Travel

Last week, I took the munchkin to Mexico.  It wasn't her first trip there.  I've had a few comments since then that range from "Wow!  You're brave!" to "I could never do that with my kid" to "You must be crazy!"  Let me address those.  I am definitely a little crazy and maybe brave.  And, in my opinion, you can do that with your kid and you should!  (I obviously don't know every single family dynamic or child but I think the vast majority of kids (special needs or not) should be traveling or at least getting out of their comfort zone.)  

In Sara's first 18 months home, she had been in 18 states. She's added at least two new ones since then.  I don't say that to brag.  I say that because traveling is obviously something I enjoy.  I was worried that she would change that but she really hasn't.  She loves to fly and is a road trip warrior.  Obviously that makes it easier to travel with her.  She's seen both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.  She's been in more airports than I can count.  She's been to Mexico 3 times.  If I want to go, we go.

Now, is traveling with her easy?  No.  Does she always enjoy it?  No.  She's not a big fan of Mexico.  It triggers things in her that are hard for her to deal with.  But she's getting better!!!  It took her until Wednesday this time to start asking when she'd go home.  Do the positives outweigh the negatives?  Absolutely.  

Positives:
1.   She gets out of her comfort zone.  Sara is perfectly happy to stay home, eat goldfish crackers, and watch her ipad.  Forever.  While this is fine on an occasional Saturday, she needs to experience more in life.

2.  If I don't get her used to traveling now, I'll never be able to travel again.  I'm a single mom.  It's just the two of us.  If I ever want to travel again, I need to train my travel partner when she's young.  Not when she's 18 or 28 and "mature enough to handle it."  By then, she'll be permanently planted in front of Disney Junior and I'll never get her out of the house.

3.  She's learning that mommy is a constant no matter where she goes.  When a child has moved around a lot, they need to learn that home is the person and not the place.  She needs to be attached to me and not her things or her space.  Mommy travels with you and always stays with you.

4.  Life experiences.  Kids (and adults) can learn more from life experiences than they ever can in a classroom or from a book (so says this teacher)!  Give your kids life experiences---even if they may be a little uncomfortable at first.

5.  Especially in international travel, you have the chance for others to see that having a disability is ok and that a child with Down syndrome can be part of a family.  It seems to so simple to us but it's not in so many parts of the world.  We encountered kids who were both kind and cruel to Sara.  It's hard to watch but it's educating people who just don't see kids with special needs around them.

Negatives:
1.  Sara tends to wet her pants when she gets overwhelmed and frustrated.  It's not the worst behavior ever but it takes some extra planning on my part.  I have to have lots of extra clothes on me at all times.  And I end up with a suitcase full of nasty dirty clothes.  But it is what it is.  She does it at home sometimes as well.

2.  It's exhausting.  Three days later and I'm still exhausted.  I got up, put Sara on the bus and went back to bed for two hours.  Managing all of her needs while adjusting to time changes and just being on the go for a week is tiring.  There's no way around it.

3.  It can be hard to keep up the pace of the rest of the group.  You may have to miss out on certain activities because it's just too much.  It's ok to take an afternoon and nap or swim or chill in your hotel room.  Just make sure you aren't doing that the whole time!

4.  Your child may not be welcomed or accepted every where you go.  It's hard to experience but it's true, especially if you travel internationally.  People may point or stare or ask awkward questions.  Try your best not to take it personally or to go on the offensive.  Lots of people just don't know any better.  (It hurts.  It just does.  Try to wait until after your child is in bed for the night to cry about it.)  Just to be clear, the number of kind, welcoming, accepting people has far outweighed the ignorant, unkind ones in our travels.  But those negative interactions tend to stick in my head.    


Tips:

1.  Travel with people who know and love your child.  I fly alone with Sara but we are always meeting people on the other end that love and adore her (and me).  I'm sure that there are people who take trips with their child alone.  I'm just not one of them.  Having support of friends and family that love us is invaluable to me.  It keeps me sane when things get tough.  It's nice to know that at least one person will hang back with you when you fall behind the group or wait for you while she goes to the bathroom for the millionth time or bring you breakfast in the airport when you haven't slept all night.

2.  Know that it will be hard.  Vacations are no longer relaxing for me.  I used to listen to music and read on the plane.  And on the beach.  Now I'm making sure she has everything she needs and giving her my phone to keep her happy.  I'm squishing into little plane bathrooms (because she loves them) and swimming in the ocean.  It's not about me.  It's about her having experiences and being happy.  I know that going in.

3.  Plan things that are both in and out of your child's comfort zone.  I'm all for Sara experiencing new things but I also know she needs some time in her comfort zone.  For example, instead of tacos every night, I made sure we went to a restaurant where she could get a hot dog.  She needs some familiar in her unfamiliar.  (Don't we all?)

4.  Start when they are little.  Start when they are smaller and portable.  Get them used to traveling early.  It will only get harder as they are older.

5.  Be prepared for the negative behavior.  Expect it.  We were gone for 8 days.  I took 12 pairs of shorts and underwear for her.  (It was still not enough. Ugh.)  I knew she would have at least one major meltdown.  I usually still take her stroller and her noise cancelling headphones.  I fly with a HUGE backpack of everything she could possibly need.  I try to be prepared for every possibility.  (I was not prepared for the headphones to break on the first day.)  

6.  Schedule some down time when you get home.  When it was just me, I used to fly on a Sunday night and work on Monday morning.  (Or sometimes fly on Monday morning and go straight to work.)  I don't do that anymore.  I know that we will both need some recovery time after a trip.  Some down time in our comfort zones.

I don't have all the answers and I don't get everything right.  I just believe that if you ever want to be able to travel with your child, you should start young.  Go to the places you want them to experience.  And then buckle up because it will be a bumpy ride but so worth it!

This group was so helpful to me last week.  

If you want to see more about our trip, you can check out our Facebook page.

2013 - What A Year it Was!!

I'm obviously a little late with my 2013 post.  I've been a "little" busy and I was trying to decide if I would do a 2013 post or a first year together post.  Since I'm now late for both and they pretty much coincide, here it is:

January

• I honestly can't tell you what happened between January 1st and 12th.  I know I worked for a week or so but the rest is a blur.  There was some strategic packing and that's about all I know.
  

January 12  to March 7

• January 12 - I got on a plane and left my old life behind.  My mom met up with me on the second leg of my trip.  It's a good thing she did or I may not have gotten on the plane.  
  
• Janury 14 - I finally met my little girl.
  
• January 20 - I got to meet Claudia for the first time.  Her parents and I had walked through the process together.  It was so nice to finally meet her and to have them at the hotel with us.  
  
• January 22 - I agreed to move forward with the legal process and become this little girl's mother.  
  
• Colombia is kind of a blur.  We spent a lot of time waiting for the phone to ring and as much time as possible hanging out with other families.
  
   
• Daily walks quickly became a part of our routine.  
  
• Jason and I got really brave and took our girls to the Children's Museum.  I was so impressed with how well they handled our girls.  
  
• We visited the orphanage briefly and I got to meet Sara's BFF.  
  
• We had several adventures with Jason and Claudia---including getting caught in the afternoon rains in their matching strollers.  
  
• We ate out a lot.  
  
• We got to meet Gracie and her family.  
  
• We spent a lot of time hanging out at the park.  
  
• Sara got her US visa on March 6.  She spent the waiting time chasing pigeons.  
  
• Leaving meant saying goodbye to some great people, including our facilitator.
  
• Sara did very well on the flights and became a US citizen when we landed in Atlanta.  
  
• We finally arrived home March 7.  We were tired but happy and so excited to see so many friends and family at the airport.
  

March

• My mom came to Chicago when we arrived home so she got to spend some time reuniting with Sara.  
  
• Sara had a photo shoot done by my friend Katie of 5 Boys + 1 Girl = 6.  She did such a great job with Sara and I will always treasure these photos taken during her first days home.  
  
• We made our first trip to NY to see my family.  I'd say the admiration is pretty mutual.  
  
• Sara had her first eye doctor appointment in March.  She was not impressed with the dilation process.  Not even McDonalds french fries could console her.  
  
• We celebrated our first Easter together in March.  A sweet friend invited us over for dinner.  I tried to get Sara to eat one green bean.  The gagging and crying was impressive.  
  

April

• I had to go back to work in April.  Sara started school and the babysitter on the same day.  She handled it much better than I did.  
  
• Sara got her glasses in April.  They weren't quite the hit we hoped they'd be.  
  
• Tia Janelle came into town for a wedding.  Sara loved meeting her and loved the wedding.  
  
• Sara made her first trip to the zoo.  She loved it.  
  

May

• We did our first 5k together.  I walked.  Sara rode.  It doesn't seem quite fair that her time was a second shorter than mine.  
  
• May brought our first Mother's Day together and Sara's dedication.  She acted exactly the way I thought she would.  Exactly. 
  
   

June

• June brought the end of the school year for both of us and a summer of adventures and traveling.  
  
• We spent a week in NY to see my brother graduate  from high school and visit with friends and family.  
  
• Sara is a huge fan of water and spent as much of her summer as possible in a swim suit.  This includes the weekend we spent in Michigan with my friend Becky and her family.  
  

July

• I'm not usually an over-patriotic person but the 4th of July meant just a little bit more this year with my new citizen.  
  
• Sara was in her first wedding on July 5th.  She was incredibly crabby moments before the ceremony but turned on the charm and did a great job.  She danced the night away with anyone and everyone.  
  
• July brought on an epic road trip.  4 weeks.  8 states.  Thousands of miles and countless hours.  Our first stop was in OH.   I got to meet a great family that I had gotten to know online during our adoption processes.  It was so nice to spend some time with another mother who just gets what my life looks like now.  
  
• We went camping in Maine for a week. Camping for us means lots of people in an RV!  Sara got to meet my dad's entire family and got to spend some quality time with my family.  
  
• We ended up with an "extra" week in NY so we went to visit Circle C Ranch.  It was fun to go back and see just how much hasn't change in the last 20 years.  
  
• The extra week also meant a little extra cousin time.  
  

August

• We spent a week in Mexico and California with Anna visiting with old friends and reminiscing about our time living there.  We even got to spend a couple of days with Tia Janelle.
  
   
• Sara turned 5 in August.  We spent the day at the San Diego Zoo with Tia Janelle, Tia Anna, and Jonathon.  She got ice cream with a candle after dinner.  She was a little overwhelmed by all the attention.  
  
• We had a small birthday party at the house with some friends.  She has since mastered the ability to blow out candles but all she could do at her birthday was blow her bangs up.  
  
• My little munchkin started Kindergarten a week after her 5th birthday.  
  

September

• We went to Fair Oaks farm to use a groupon before it expired.  She loves all things animals.  It was our first big day trip with just the two of us.  
  
• Sara got invited to her first birthday party.  She was NOT a fan of laser tag.  She made it about 37 seconds.  
  
• We celebrated 6 Months Home on the 7th.  
  
• Sara had her first dentist appointment in September.  She did so well and her teeth look great. 
  
• Sara was involved in a preschool sports program at the park district in the fall.  She loved the soccer unit.  The rest of the sports weren't quite as fun in her mind.  
  
• A brand new Gigi's Playhouse opened in Oak Forest in September.  We are so lucky to have such a great resource so close to home!  
  

October

• Sara was a flower girl in my friend Megan's wedding in Florida in October.  We flew down for the weekend.  She got to experience the beach for the first time and we spent most of our weekend in the hotel pool.  It was interesting to travel with pretty much just the two of us.  Sara did so well at the wedding.  It's amazing how grown up and well-behaved she can be when you put a pretty dress on her.  
  
• We made a trip to Indy to visit with my dear friend Anna and to dress shop for her upcoming wedding.  Sara LOVES dress shopping.  Mom's not quite as big a fan.  
  
• October brought a lot of drama with school and eventually a new placement.  (And a pretty cute school picture!)  
  
• We went to a local pumpkin patch with a group from church.  Sara loved every single moment of it.  She had a hard time transitioning between activities.  She just wasn't convinced that any thing else could be more fun than what she was currently doing.  She was an absolute mess at the end of the day.  There is still straw in my car.  I'm still trying to figure out why no one else had children that were quite as dirty as mine.  
  
• We really didn't celebrate Halloween.  I just didn't think Sara was ready.  She did get to wear a princess dress to school, though.  I spent the next several weeks trying to explain to her that she couldn't wear one every day. 
  

November

• We spent Thanksgiving in NY with my family.  This always means lots of time with Nana, Grandpa and the Uncles and visits with the cousins.
  
•  We also got to play with the VanHalles while we were in NY.  It's so fun to watch Claudia grow and change.  Maybe some day these two girls won't be afraid of each other.  
  

December

• December brought our first Christmas season together.  I was VERY excited and we started celebrating pretty early.  Sara loved everything Christmas.  She especially loved pictures and figures of Santa.  She's not so sure about the actual guy.  
  
• Sara got invited to attend a Princess Ball and my dad just happened to be in town that weekend for work.  (He's never been here for work before!)  Sara loved it.  Dad claims not to but I know he did.  After all, he was the grandfather of the belle of the ball.  
  
  
  
• December brought the first real snow.  Sara loves it as long as it doesn't touch her skin.  I actually thought at one point that she had broken her arm while we were shoveling.  It took me a while to figure out that some of the snow had fallen into her sleeve and that was the source of the screaming and wailing.  
  
• We spent our Christmas break with my family in NY.  Sara just loves being around all of my family and they certainly love her.  
  
• 2013 ended in Maine.  We knew my grandmother wasn't doing well so my dad, brother, Sara, and I went up to Maine to visit and to spend New Years with my dad's family.  New Year's Eve was uneventful to say the least.  (I think we were asleep before 10.)  I'm so glad that we got up there, though, and got to see Ma one last time.