Jenny

It seems like I always get files of kids right at the worst times.  Jenny was one of those kids.  I got her file last year just as I was preparing to job hunt (again) and change jobs.  I was also headed into my last year of grad school.  Not great timing to start an adoption.

But it IS TIME for someone to go get Jenny!  She's beautiful.  (I have a picture to the right and several more on my phone.)  She's doing so well.  She had her heart defect repaired and is in good health.  She's learning and growing.  Imagine how well she'd be doing with the love of a family!!

She's 7 now which means she's "old" by adoption standards but still young enough to thrive with a family and structure and therapies---all things she desperately needs!

I'm on a mission to raise her grant to $2,000 and get her seen!  I got a generous birthday gift so I'm starting the race to $2,000 now.  More importantly, I want to get her story out there and get her home!

Here is what Reece's Rainbow has to say about her:

Jenny is a sweet 6-years-old girl with Down syndrome living in a children’s home. Jenny has been described as an affectionate and calm young girl who enjoys playing games and loves animals and other young children. It has been said that nothing brings a bigger smile to Jenny’s face than being able to play with her musical instruments and having others play along with her!

It is reported that Jenny receives therapies to support her speech and development. As a young child, Jenny underwent corrective surgery for a congenital heart condition and currently takes medication for hyperthyroidism and hypertension.

Jenny is in need of a family that can provide consistency, support, and a lifetime of love.

The agency has photos of Jenny for inquiring families. She is darling!

Here is what Rainbow Kids has to say about her:

Jenny, born with Down syndrome, is affectionate and engaging with people she knows well!  She has benefitted tremendously from living in a loving foster family, and is close with her foster mother. Jenny is very happy when playing with other kids or toys and musical instruments, and can entertain herself for long periods. She enjoys going on outings, whether it’s to attend church, play at the park or stroll around the town fair. Jenny loves celebrating holidays, especially Halloween and Christmas!  While she’s limited in her mobility, expressive speech and cognitive development, her sweet, easy-going personality makes her a delight to have around. Jenny needs a family who understands her special needs—and is ready to love her for the charming little girl she is!

Here are the country requirements listed on Reece's Rainbow:

• Colombia is now open to heterosexual and same-sex couples. Singles may still apply as well.
• Multiple unrelated children may be adopted together
• No family size restrictions
• Both parents must travel to the country initially — but only one needs to stay for the duration of the trip which is approx 2-3 weeks
• Estimated total cost $21,000-27,000 and this does not include 3rd party fees

Our Story

I've been asked to write a bit of our story for a Facebook page/blog.  So, here's the quick and dirty version of finding and adopting Sara.  And an update on how she's doing now since it's been way too long since I've done one of those.  

In 2008, I moved to Mexico to work with kids with special needs.  9 months later, I was suddenly back in Illinois with no idea where my life was headed.  I had a job I loved and some amazing friends.  My life was good but I was looking for more.  I wanted to be a mom.  I started looking into adoption.  Specifically, I was looking into local options for adopting a child with Down syndrome.  As a special education teacher, I always loved my students with Down syndrome and was just drawn to them.  I felt like I was chasing my own tail and quickly became discouraged.  I didn't think that a birth family would ever choose a single mom.  At some point during that time, a friend showed me the Reece's Rainbow website but I dismissed the idea of international adoption without looking into it at all.  

In December 2011, I was spending Christmas break in New York with my family.  My mom called me into the kitchen to watch a news story.  This news story changed my life.  

I returned to Illinois in January and started researching Reece's Rainbow.  I wrote a very vague blog post on January 1st hinting at the future.  I read about the process and the funding options.  I read about single adoption and Down syndrome.  I read profiles of kids and thought about the best options for me.  I sent a Facebook message to all of my favorite single and adoptive moms and closest friends asking them if I was completely crazy.  They told me that I wasn't so I started moving forward.  

I decided that the best fit for me would be a girl, at least 3, with Down syndrome but minimal medical problems in a Latin American country since I speak Spanish.  I thought I had found her but was told that the girl I was interested in had a family coming.  The contact at Reece's Rainbow sent me a picture and a short description of a little girl that hadn't even been posted yet.  

I saw that picture and jumped in with both feet and didn't look back.  My profile went live on Reece's Rainbow in February and I spent the next year working, fund raising, paper chasing, and preparing.  It was a whirlwind.  Half the time I thought this was the best thing I could be doing with my life.  The other half of the time I was in a complete panic.

I flew to Colombia on January 12, 2013 and met Sara on January 14th.  

She was tiny and timid and perfect.  (And she bit me.  A lot.)  She was almost 4 1/2 and in a size 2T.  She knew about 5 words in Spanish but was able to use a lot of gestures and noises to make her needs and wants understood.  She refused to repeat words and seemed to have no interest in speaking any more than she did.

She had a rash on her face and a perpetually green, snotty nose.  The bags under her eyes were huge.  Her hair was thin and wispy and an odd red color.  She was scared of everything.  The dog in the hotel and the fountain at the mall were especially disturbing.  She cowered easily and was scared of anyone who made sudden movements.  

She was goofy and stubborn and fun.  She learned sign language incredibly quickly and started growing immediately.  She grew out of her 2T clothes in the 7 1/2 weeks we were in Colombia.  She was independent, potty trained, and able to dress and feed herself.  She didn't need a mommy but she let me hang around anyway.  

We arrived in the United States on March 7, 2013.  She became America's newest citizen and we really started our lives together.  

In our five years together, she has gone from a tiny, timid toddler to a confident, spunky, hilarious big girl.  She has traveled to more than half of the states, Mexico, and Canada.  She loves to fly and is a great road tripper.  

She loves school and is getting Physical therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech therapy and educational services.  She talks.  All the time.  Constantly.  She repeats everything.  She has a great sense of humor and she loves adventure and new experiences.  

She is adored by her grandparents and all of my friends.  We go to a church that loves and accepts her.  

She takes dance classes with other girls her age.  She plays all kinds of sports with other kids with special needs.  

She's been a flower girl three times. 

We've survived two cataract surgeries and a tonsil removal.  

 She loves her mommy more than anything and I cannot imagine life without her!  

I'd say, she's doing pretty well.  

Miracle of Adoption Christmas Campaign For Andre

I always say that I'm not going to do Reece's Rainbow's Christmas campaign but then I can't help myself. Kids need families. If a big grant is what gets them one, then I'll keep advocating and fund raising.

This little hunk is not even 2 yet. I refuse to watch him grow up in pictures---unless it's pictures taken by his new family. Kids shouldn't grow up in orphanages. They need love and families and security. I often wonder how Sara's progress would different be if she had been adopted sooner. You rarely see kids this young in his country! He needs a family now!! The early years are so crucial.

More than a big grant, this little guy needs some early intervention and love! Would you consider being his family? Watch for fund raisers for the next few months. I'm committed to raising his grant but more committed to finding him a family!

For more of his story, check out his RR profile: http://reecesrainbow.org/102230/andre
You can follow all the fundraisers and updates on this facebook page.

*Coffee and Travel mugs to support your favorite professional and college sports teams. This runs through December 14th.

*To make a purchase to benefit his adoption fund, you can order avon here: www.youravon.com/adoption

*You can also purchase hand made knit items including scarves, ruffle skirts, stockings, dish clothes, hair pompoms, and tons of other things. Check out the photo albums on my knitting page to see what is available.

*Use my Amazon link. A percentage of each purchase will go to his fund.

*Auction for Andre is happening December 4th-13th. Check it out here.

*You can get a Christmas ornament with Andre's adorable picture by making a $35 or more donation to his adoption grant.

Past Fund Raisers:
*Pampered Chef Party. Through October 31st.

*Shop the Virtual Craft Fair. The facebook group is here. The list of vendors is here. This runs from November 1-15th.
*LuLaRoe Pop-Up. November 12-13. If you haven't experienced LuLaRoe's clothes yet, you need to! So very comfortable and versatile! Feel free to join the group at any time but only purchases made during the November 12-13 sale will count towards Andre.

To inquire about adopting him or the process for his country, send me a message!

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

Some big changes are coming to our little family.  Big changes.

The first huge change is moving.  We are planning to move this summer to be closer to my family.  I've been almost 600 miles from my family since I finished college 15 years ago.  I've enjoyed my independence and never planned to move back.  But, kids change everything.  There are tons of reasons to stay and tons of reasons to move but I really want Sara to be near her family and that trumps the rest of the list.

My parents and I are working on a housing situation since rental options in the middle of no where are pretty limited.  I have almost finished the process to transfer my teaching license to NY.  (Although I'm open to lots of employment options.)  I've met with a Realtor and am cautiously optimistic about selling my house here.  I've been looking for jobs but it's still pretty early to get serious about anything.  Please pray with us for a great job (I love the one I'm leaving here) and that we will at least break even on the house.  

A big bonus of moving is access to free babysitters---aka the grandparents!  I have been blessed with amazing sitters for Sara after school and on her days off.  I would not be able to make it without them.  I also have respite care through a local agency but Sara will not stay with them.  (The emotional impact was not worth a few hours away.)  My parents adore Sara and she loves them.  They are pretty much the only ones I can leave her with without major tears and trauma.  (Although my dad learned at Christmas that she doesn't really like to go out without mom.)  Knowing that I will be able to run to the store alone occasionally or go to the doctor without a shadow is very relieving to me.  I'm glad that we've had these two years together to establish our little family but it's time to accept some help.  This mom is tired.

Now that I've admitted I'm exhausted, it's time to announce something else.  I might just be crazy but I'm planning to start another adoption once we are settled.  I have my eye on a little one but I'm hoping and praying she doesn't have to wait that long for a family.  (You know those prayers.  Dear God, please help me find her a family quickly.  If not, please let my agency have her file in the fall.  Because I want her to have a mom.  Soon.  But I really want to be her mom.)  I swore I would never go back to Sara's country but I think adoption is like labor.  It doesn't seem to bad from this side of things.  It was hard but totally worth it.   Sure.  I'd do it again.  

Sara has adjusted so well and is becoming so independent.  She loves babies and I think will do really well with a younger sibling (once she learns to share mommy).  I've had people asking me for the last two years when I was going to adopt again.  Reading this little girl's file and really thinking about what life would look like with another one makes me think that the time is near.  As long as the transition to our new home and life goes well, I really think we'll be in a position to start a new adoption in the fall.  

I have set up a Future Adoption Account and will change some of my advocacy and fund raising efforts in order to be as financially ready as possible when I can finally commit and start a home study.  (I know I won't save enough for the whole adoption by then but I'm hoping for enough to get me started.)  I'll be adding a small amount out of each pay check to the account.  I'll also be putting in any money that I make from selling items that we won't be moving.  (I love online garage sale sites!)  I'll be using my Swagbucks points to get paypal gift cards which I can transfer to the account.  I'll also be adding some money from Scarves and Skirts for Sara and Avon for Adoptions.  And once my car is paid off in the new few months, that account is really going to grow!

I will continue to use Scarves and Skirts for Sara to raise money for friends who are adopting.  When I sell items, I usually charge twice what the yarn cost me plus shipping costs.  (There are a few exceptions.)  I keep half of the money from each sale to cover my costs.  Up until now, the other half has gone to an adopting family or waiting child.  Starting with any new orders, I will give 25% of the price to the current family or child and put the other 25% in my future adoption account.  

I will also continue to use Avon sales from Avon for Adoptions to help adopting families.  I have always donated my 20% commission to adopting families.  Starting March 1, when a family is holding a fund raiser, they will get 15% of each purchase and I will keep the other 5% for my future adoption fund.  If there is not an active fund raiser going on, all 20% will go into my savings account.  

I realize this is probably a lot more technical information than a lot of you wanted but I really strive to be honest and forthcoming about all of my fundraising efforts--whether they are for myself or someone else.

Those are the two big changes that I'm ready to vaguely announce for our little family.  Who knows what other changes our future holds.  Stay tuned.

Valentine's Day - Last Year

Last year, on Valentine's Day, I was in Colombia. (Cause I was pretty much there forever.)  My friend Jason and his daughter Claudia left that afternoon.  They had pretty much been my life-line and my sanity.  They were my escape from the hotel and the hotel food.  They were my connection to home.  And they left me.  (I can't blame them but....)

Susan and her girls were at the hotel at the time but I knew they were just passing through.  They were a lot of fun but I knew that they, too, would be leaving as soon as they possibly could.

Since it was Valentine's Day, Susan and I went to the grocery store and found the closest thing to American candy we could find for the girls and threw a tiny, little party in her room.

Pretty much the cutest Valentine's dates ever!

In the middle of our little party, the hotel owner knocked on the door and told me that I had a phone call.  I knew that it was too late at night for "The Call" (the one saying the adoption decree is ready) so I was interested to see who it was.  (A secret admirer, perhaps?)  I picked up the phone and realized it was my amazing in-country rep.  The hotel owner had called her because she was worried that I was depressed and thought she might need to come cheer me up.

Our amazing in-country rep

Apparently, in their minds, Valentine's Day is a HUGE American holiday and I must have been so sad about missing it.  I had to try really hard not to laugh into the phone.  I was in a funk but it had nothing to do with Valentine's Day and everything to do with my friends leaving.  It took me quite a while to assure her that I was fine and not missing anything at home.

I'm not sure I've ever even celebrated Valentine's Day.  The one year that I was dating someone in February, he was at college in Ohio and I was student teaching in Costa Rica.  I've gone out with groups of girls to "celebrate" but that's about it.  It is certainly not a big holiday to me and I was kind of relieved to be so far away from it for once.

It goes to show, though, how kind and caring Colombians are.  Even if they are a bit misinformed.

This year, I'm spending Valentine's Day with the Love of My Life.  

The Truth - One Year Later

A year ago today, I boarded a plane to head to Colombia.  At the time, I put on a happy face and made it seem like I was super excited to meet my "daughter"---you know, that little girl that I had 4 pictures of and had seen on Skype twice.  The girl I was supposed to be madly in love with.  The girl I was scared to death of!  

I'm about to be brutally honest with all of you.  It may make you think less of me.  It may remind you that I'm a flawed, crazy human being---just like everyone else.  It may give you comfort in your own process and thoughts.  

When I decide to do something, I do all my research, make pro/con lists, and jump in--quickly.  There is no time for doubts or second thoughts.  I'm in.  I did it when moving to Chicago.  I did it when buying a house.  I did it when returning from Mexico.  I did it when adopting a child.  

I first heard about Reece's Rainbow in a television story over Christmas break 2011.  I wrote my first blog post about RR and an idea that was in my head on January 1, 2012.  I went public with my decision on January 25, 2012 after having contacted the home study agency, the adoption agency, and RR.  On February 17, 2012, I revealed who my daughter was and we became public on the RR site.  All of that happened in less than 2 months.  

At that point, the momentum was in place.  I was getting fingerprints, filling out paperwork and applications, having the social worker visit, working out details, fundraising.  I was busy!  

Most of the time, I was super excited about becoming Sara's mom.  But, when I laid down at night to go to sleep, the doubts crept in.  I wasn't just adopting.  I was adopting a child with special needs.  On my own.  I was going to be giving up all of my time, my freedom, my money, my sleep!  I was becoming a mom---forever!  

It all came to a head when it was time to leave.  I invited a bunch of friends to come over the night before I left.  One of them asked if that was really how I wanted to spend my evening.  It sure was!  I didn't want to be alone with my panicky thoughts!  I just might talk myself out of going.  A couple of them stayed late into the night.  I was glad because I was so tired when they left that I had no trouble going to sleep.  

I woke up in a panic.  I couldn't go.  I was ruining my life.  I was not cut out for this.  I'm not the great person that a lot of people seem to think I am.  I'm a mediocre teacher.  What makes me think I'll be a good parent?  What if I didn't like her?  (My sister reminded me that I didn't really like all the students I've had over the years.  What if I didn't like her?  Thanks, sister!)  What in the world made me think this was a good idea???  

I knew I had to get up and get dressed because friends were coming to pick me up and take me to the airport.  I talked myself through each step and took lots of deep breaths.  I managed not to cry on the way to the airport or through the check in process.  I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.   I had to get on the first plane because my mom was meeting me in NY for our flight to Colombia.  I couldn't leave her there alone.  I had to get on the next plane because my mom was with me and she was so excited.  I didn't tell her what I was thinking and feeling because I was afraid if I started to talk, I'd start crying and just never stop.  

I am a people-pleaser and a peace-maker.  I felt like there were so many people invested in this process.  So many people had helped me fund raise and supported me.  So many people were excited.  I couldn't let them down!  I'd have to go and complete the adoption because I'd never be able to face them if I came home empty-handed.  

I should clarify that I didn't always have these feelings.  I had sought wise counsel and spent a lot of time in prayer.  I had seen God provide for my adoption financially and in so many other ways.  I knew that I was doing the right thing.  I just didn't feel it at all on that day.  

I wish I could say that it all changed two days later when I met her.  It really didn't.  I felt like I was babysitting.  I kept expecting someone to realize that I had no idea what I was doing and take her away.  I had to keep reminding myself of all that I had gone through to get her because I felt like they were just giving away children to anyone.  

A year later, I can tell you without a doubt that I did not ruin my life.  Things may have gone quickly and I may have gotten caught up in the momentum.  I may have had doubts but I do not have regrets.  I may get frustrated and wish I could go grocery shopping alone but I am madly in love with MY daughter.  Choosing to adopt Sara was the best decision I've ever made in my life.  

Harsh Reality

Sara has been absolutely delightful lately.  She is adjusting amazingly well and is starting to understand both the limits that come with consistent parenting and the security that comes with a family.  Her behavior has improved greatly (*at home at least) and she is just the cutest, cuddliest, funniest, most loving child ever (95% of the time).  I really enjoy just being around her.

*I have recently learned that she's down right naughty at school.  

In all honesty, I don't really think about her birth parents much.  I'm not sure why but that's just how it is for me.  But, this weekend, I started thinking about them.  I started thinking about how they are missing out on this amazing kid.  I began to wonder if her birth siblings are as great as she is.

Then, I had a horrible thought.....

If Sara had been conceived in the United States, she would most likely have been aborted.  

70% of women in the US will choose to have prenatal screening.  Of those 70%, 84-91% of the women who find out they are carrying a child with Down syndrome will choose to abort.  (I got my stats here.)

I won't go into Sara's history here and I don't know the abortion laws in Colombia.  But, even without knowing those things, you can see that statistics would not have been in her favor.  (Knowing what I do, I am almost certain which choice her birth mother would have made.)  

I don't want to get into a huge political debate about abortion or religion or choices.  I just want to share the realization that I had this weekend.  My child's life was most likely spared because she was NOT conceived in this country.  While I'm so glad she is here now, I'm glad she was born there.  

Colombia Suspends Adoptions---Sort Of

Update July 2, 2013:  The State Department put out this alert on July 1st regarding the "shut down" of Colombian adoptions.  It's not new news.  It's just a clear statement from ICBF.  

Alert:Colombia Moratorium Update

The Colombian Institute for Family Welfare (ICBF) formally announced several important changes in Colombia’s management of intercountry adoptions.

Beginning July 15, 2013, ICBF will no longer accept new intercountry adoption applications from non-Colombian citizens living abroad interested in adopting a child under 6 years and 11 months old, unless ICBF considers the child to have special characteristics or needs.  Families who are considering adopting a healthy child in this age range should ensure that they have filed their initial application with ICBF no later than the July 15, 2013 deadline.  Visit ICBF website to learn what documents ICBF requires as part of the initial application.  ICBF has indicated this moratorium will last at least two years.

The Department of State expects that adoption processing will continue to operate normally in all other respects.  Families who have already been accepted by ICBF as prospective adoptive parents for a healthy child less than 6 years and 11 months old will maintain their place on the existing waiting list and ICBF will continue to match and finalize adoptions for these children.  Families interested in adopting older children or any child identified by ICBF as being more difficult to place because of special characteristics or needs should not experience any changes as a result of this decision.  Furthermore, ICBF has indicated that any family currently on the waiting list which is open to adopting a different category of child should work with their adoption service provider to let ICBF know.  Visit icbf.gov.co to learn more about the 8,000 children with special characteristics or needs who are currently awaiting adoption.

In addition to this moratorium, ICBF has also implemented a number of changes affecting adoption service providers and private adoption houses.  Effective immediately, adoption service providers may no longer charge prospective adoptive families for “humanitarian assistance” programs as part of an adoption contract.  In addition, ICBF has formally reminded prospective adoptive parents, adoption service providers, and private adoption houses of its ban on donations by any family or entity involved in an ongoing adoption prior to the completion of that adoption.  ICBF is concerned that these payments and donations jeopardize the credibility of Colombia’s intercountry adoption process.  The Department of State expects that ICBF may take adverse action against any individuals or entities that do not honor these requirements.

For updates you may email the Bogota U.S. Embassy at:IVBogota@state.gov, Attn Adoptions or refer to adoption.state.gov for updates.


A few weeks ago, the director of ICBF resigned.  (ICBF is the Child Welfare Institute in Colombia.)  Lots of people in the adoption community were anxiously waiting to see how this would affect Colombian adoptions.  Now we know.  On Thursday, it was announced that Colombia would stop taking applications from foreign families seeking to adopt children under the age of 6 who do not have special needs and do not have siblings.

A little background:  

During the 80s and 90s (and into this century), Colombia was a baby factory for families in Europe (and some in the US) seeking to adopt infants.  Private adoption houses were created.  Pregnant young and/or poor woman could come to the house and receive room, board, and medical treatment.  The babies were then adopted out to foreign families.  Because families were already in place before the child was born, these children were adopted at very young ages.  

This all began to change greatly when Colombia began to actively seek biological relatives to care for children instead of just lining up foreign families for them.  The process takes time and children are becoming older and older before being released for adoption.  Families are still looking for healthy, young children, though and the waiting list has become VERY long.  

Just a side note:  The fact that the list is becoming so long means Colombians are taking care of Colombian children.  This is a good thing!  Colombia has progressed as a nation in the last few decades and is now much more able to care for their own children.  In an ideal world, international adoption wouldn't exist.  Children would be cared for in their own country and culture.  (Just my personal opinion.  I'm sure there are other opinions out there.)  

The current situation:

There are almost 400 Colombian families and about 3,500 foreign families on the waiting list for a healthy child under the age of 6 who does not have siblings.  

I met two families in country that had waited 5+ years for their children.  (Both of the families were European.)  I had a long talk with one of them.  When they started the process, they were not told that it would take that long.  So many things in their lives had changed in 5 years.  Their jobs had changed; their home had changed; their position in life had changed.   They had repeatedly paid to have documents updated; repeatedly paid for updated home studies; repeatedly put their lives on hold waiting for a referral.  While they were thrilled to finally have a son, they insisted they would have chosen a different program if they had known they would wait so long.  

Here's the thing:  Up until Thursday, agencies were continuing to recruit new families into their Colombia programs.  (These programs are different than the waiting child program that I was in.)  These families complete home studies and dossiers that are then sent to Colombia.  Colombian officials take time and resources to review these dossiers and then give the families a number on a very, very long list.  This ties up staff that could be reviewing dossiers of families hoping to adopt waiting children.  Children who already exist and need families!  

I have no problem with people who want to adopt a young, healthy child.  Not everyone is called to adopt a child with Down syndrome or a teenager.  I get that.  I get the desire to adopt an infant or toddler.  But, I think the majority of a country's resources should be devoted to a child that currently needs a home and not a child that will be born five years from now.  (Again.  Just my personal opinion.  I'm sure there are other opinions out there.)  

I applaud ICBF's decision to suspend applications.  Spend your time and energy on the children who need homes now and the families that have already paid thousands of dollars and waited countless months and years.  It makes sense to work on that very long list before you add to it.  It makes sense to seek family members that can care for the children.  It makes sense to focus on the waiting children.  

While I know that there are people that are scrambling to find new programs (some of which transferred to Colombia after Russia closed) and I know there are people that are very upset about this decision, it seems like a very "fair" solution to help manage a very overwhelmed system.  

Implications

I found out a few weeks ago that Sara's orphanage closed.  It made me really sad but I couldn't figure out why.  I visited the orphanage briefly but I didn't really have any emotional connection to it.  Sara hadn't been there very long.  It's not like she had spent most of her young life there.  But still, it made me sad.

I touched on the history of adoption in Colombia here.  Basically, during the 80s and 90s (and into this century), Colombia was a baby factory for families in Europe (and some in the US) seeking to adopt infants.  Private adoption houses were created.  Pregnant young and/or poor women could come to the house and receive room, board, and medical treatment.  Their babies were then adopted out to foreign families.  These adoption houses could conduct private adoptions separate from the social service agency.  Most of them had (and still have) private foundations that support them.  

While I won't get into Sara's social history here (some things are only for her mama to know and be heartbroken over), I will say that she was moved to one of these private adoption houses in order to find her a family.  (It worked!)   In the middle of my process, her house lost its license due to some financial indiscretions.  I was able to complete her adoption through social services but her house was not allowed to complete any more private adoptions.   I was told at the time that social services was taking over the house and children in their care would continue to reside there and be placed there.  

A few weeks ago, I asked the agency about another little boy with Down Syndrome that was in Sara's orphanage.  They told me that the orphanage had been closed and that all the children had been moved.  They no longer have his file so they are not sure where he was transferred.  I didn't make a big deal about the closing but it did make me really sad.  We were at my parents at the time so I didn't really have time to figure it out.  

A few days later, Sara and I attended a fundraiser for a great grant organization that helped us out with travel expenses.  (I could write a whole post about that.  They kept thanking us for coming.  I went to thank THEM!)  One of the questions they asked was about the timing of the adoption.  What would it have meant to Sara if the adoption had been stalled because of a lack of funds?  I hadn't thought about it until then but it suddenly came to me:  She would have moved AGAIN.  The orphanage closed 3 months after we got home.  If I had hit any more snags; If I had waited to commit; If I had to wait for grant funds; If I had to wait for loan approval; If, if if....  If the timing had been a little different, my poor baby would have moved again.  She would have left behind everything and everyone she knew days or weeks or months before leaving it all again to move in with her mom.  

Sara is very adaptable.  She will go anywhere with anyone.  I used to think this was a good thing.  (It's great that your child gets on the bus and doesn't cry or stays with a baby sitter, right?)  Now, I'm realizing it's another sign of her young life.  She has moved a lot.  A lot for a four year old.  She is used to going with new people to new places.  

I had to list all the addresses I've lived at in the last 25 years for part of the adoption process.  The list was so long.  It was almost embarrassing.  The difference is that I always moved with my family.  She has moved alone from place to place.  She has given up everything she knows countless times.  I am so glad to know that if she ever moves again, she will move with her family.

I'm so grateful that Sara came home before the orphanage closed.  My heart breaks for all those other children that had to move again.  

Collage Photos

Here are some collages I've made. Sara did not come from a bad place. She was well taken care of. Watch these photos and see what a little love can do.

These were all the pictures I had of Sara before I met her.  

These were all taken in the first 48 hours that I had Sara with me. 

Passport picture on the left.  Visa picture on the right.  She is not photogenic.  It takes a lot of tries to get a good picture.  Colombian officials aren't into multiple attempts.  

We had the privilege of meeting two other little girls that found their forever families on Reece's Rainbow.  It was God's timing that we all ended up there together.  (Are they not the cutest things ever?  I happen to know of another little girl just like these there that needs a family of her own.)  

All these pictures have been taken since we got home.  She is loving experiencing new things.  I think that the picture in the middle says it all.  The smile goes all the way to her eyes.  

These photos are all from her photo shoot with the photographer behind Changing the Face of Beauty.  She is growing up right in front of me.  Every day. 

Random Questions

I've been asked some very, very random questions in the last two weeks.  Some directly related to the adoption.  Some because I've been to more medical appointments in the last week than in the last decade.  Most of them because I speak Spanish to my child in public.  Let's just say that people have no problem asking whatever pops into their heads.  I don't mind answering questions but sometimes they crack me up.  Here are a few that I remember:

Eye Doctor:  Was she premature?
Me:  I don't think so.
Eye Doctor:  Birth weight?
Me:  Oooo.  No idea.
Eye Doctor (looking at me strangely):  Was it a normal pregnancy?
Me:  I think so.
Eye Doctor:  Is she a foster child or something?


Lab Lady:  So, what language is that?
Me:  Spanish
Lab Lady:  So she only understands Spanish?
Me:  Yes.
Lab Lady:  Why would you only speak Spanish to her?
Me:  Because that's what she understands.
Lab Lady: Are you ever going to teach her English?
Me:  Maybe....


Host:  Oh. She's learning Spanish.
Me:  No.  That's all she speaks.
Host:  Oh.
Guest:  Why does she only speak Spanish?
Me:  She's Colombian.
Guest:  I don't know what that means.
Me:  She's from Colombia.
Guest:  Gives me a weird look.
Me:  The country in South America?


Receptionist:  Name?
Me:  Sara
Receptionist:  Birthdate?
Me:  I tell her.  
Receptionist:  Religion?
Me:  Ummmmm...Christian.
Receptionist:  What kind of Christian?
Me:  The kind that doesn't interfere with my medical treatment.
 (Good thing I had just seen the Grey's episode where the Jehovah's Witness couldn't get a blood transfusion.)  


Different Receptionist:  Name?

Me:  Sara
Receptionist:  Birthdate?
Me:  I tell her.  
Receptionist:  Race?
Me:  Does it matter?
Receptionist:  Race?
Me:  Hispanic
Receptionist:  Hispanic, non-white?
Me:  She's Hispanic but she's pretty white.
Receptionist:  I'm just going to check Hispanic.


School Form:  Circle the race of the majority of your family members.  (Well, we're kind of split 50/50 over here.)

Side note:  Why do the forms all say Hispanic, non-white?  What in the world does that mean?  My child is Latina but certainly doesn't look it.  She looks white.  Why can't they just say Hispanic?  

I know that people are just curious and don't mean to be rude.  I just love the way people phrase things sometimes.

Side note 2:  Yes.  I am white.  I have blond hair and freckles.  AND, I speak Spanish.  Yep.  It's possible.  (I got a lot less stares in Bogota for speaking Spanish than I do here.)  

Life at Home

Life at home is going well.  I think it was such a blessing that we had two months together in Colombia before we transitioned to this whole new world here.  Sara is adjusting well.  She still has her moments of unpleasant behavior but those usually come when she is very tired and/or we are leaving an activity that she would not like to leave.  Over all, she goes with the flow.  She seems to be understanding some English and says "hi," "bye," and "cheese."  We're still using mostly Spanish.  We've been busy with school and doctor appointments.  We fly next week to meet the rest of my family in NY.  That might be a little overwhelming but they are all dying to meet her.   Here's a glimpse into Sara's "new" life.

Her favorite toy is definitely her baby doll.  She might "need" a stroller for baby soon.  She pushes her all over the house in her crib.

She's been to both the Children's Museum in Oak Lawn and the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.  The children's museum was more her speed.  She could run around and play with whatever she wanted.

Nana flew in to meet us when we got home.  She seemed to remember her from the week we were all together in Bogota.  

The only movie she's really interested in so far is Tangled.  She has an appointment with the eye doctor on Monday.  Then I'll know if she needs to be that close to see or if I can start saying "back up from the tv" like every other parent in America.   

Macaroni and Cheese is definitely her favorite new food.  Some days, she barely eats.  Other days, she can't find enough food in the world.

She's a little overwhelmed when told she can pick her own snack or fruit.  I don't think she's ever seen the inside of a refrigerator before.

She LOVES watching her food be made.  She doesn't seem interested in helping yet but she definitely wants to watch.

She loved her McDonalds fries experience.  I'm not a huge fan of McDonalds so we haven't done the whole Happy Meal experience yet.  We stopped there once and now she asks every single time we drive by.

She definitely loves picking out her own clothes.  Right now, she's happy to pick out one piece (usually a skirt or shirt) and let me pick out the rest.  I can't convince her to wear sweatpants and a hoodie, even if we aren't going anywhere.  She's definitely a skirt girl.

Like I said before, we have our struggles and our not-so-pleasant moments but, overall, things are going wonderfully.  She so wants to learn and try new things.  She helped me put together an IKEA chair tonight.  You show her something once and she's got it.  I can't wait for her to get into school!  

Potential Travel Plans.

I'm trying not to get too excited about the potential of going home soon. After all, we've thought we were going home before. But, I think it might really happen this time. I want to keep you all updated on the plans as they develop.

Here's the current plan:
•We go tomorrow to apply for her passport. We are planning to apply for an emergency passport so we can pick it up Monday afternoon. If we can't get the emergency passport, we will have to get a regular one and we can pick it up on Tuesday.

•Depending on the passport situation, we will have our visa appointment at the embassy on Tuesday or Wednesday.

•We will hopefully fly home the day after our visa appointment. The exact times depend on the availability of seats at the last minute. There are two flights daily from Bogota to the US. One leaves at midnight and goes to NYC. The other leaves at 10:30 AM and goes to Atlanta. I am praying for open seats on the Atlanta flight.

•All that to say that we really don't know when we will be home. If I get my wish, we will land at Midway on Wednesday at 6:30 PM.

I will continue to update as things fall into place. I miss all of you so much and would love to see people at the airport if you'd like to meet us there. Just remember the "rules" and now that I will probably be an emotional mess and hungry.

Confusion

I finally asked my facilitator to explain the judicial process to me. I was clearly misunderstanding something. I thought that based on the updates she was giving me, I should be on my way home right now. It turns out, I misunderstood her updates and we aren't really that close to going home.

Here's a summary of the process here and where we are in it:

•Once the attorney receives the integration document, she goes to the court and submits the case.

•The computer chooses where the case will be sent. (There are multiple courts.).My case was submitted on January 24.

• The judge has the option to admit it or not. He does not have a time term to fulfill. Mine was admitted on January 31.

•It is then sent to be reviewed by the family defender who had 3 working days to give his opinion. She went to the court office on February 5 and took my file and gave it back on Friday the 8th. (So glad she let it sit for six days first. Thanks!)

•It has been on the judges desk since then waiting for his signature.

•We have been in this process 13 working days. A normal process would take 24 (working) days....

•The judge has ten days to sign. He could take them all or he could sign today. There is no way to know.

So, as you can see, we could be here another two weeks. Not the news I wanted but I'd rather be informed and stop stressing about a phone call that probably isn't coming for a while.

There is another RR family at the hotel this week. Just having someone to talk to had greatly improved my spirits. I'm not sure what I will do when they leave this weekend but I guess I'll worry about that later.

I'm attaching pictures of the three RR girls meeting in Colombia. We had hoped to get a pic of all three today but I'm not sure that's going to happen. Jason is pretty busy trying to get out of here.