Tonight, as I sat in your bed rocking you to sleep, I started praying for you. This isn't something I do often enough but I poured out my heart in that quiet, dark, precious moment. I prayed that you will be an over-comer. That you will over come the first four years of your life. That you will over come your rough start in school. Most of all, I prayed that you will over come your mommy's imperfections. I mess up far more often than I'd like but I know that you are thriving in spite of my mistakes.
I am in awe of you and who you are. When you fall asleep in my lap or when I check on you at night, I am in amazed that you are sleeping in my house. That I have been entrusted with your little life. I can't help but smile when I see your adorable little face in my rear view mirror. Most of the time, it seems crazy to me that I have this little person in the back seat of my car and that I am responsible for that little person. And, when you call my name or kiss my cheek, I often tear up because this amazing little person actually loves me and calls me mom. Some days, I am overwhelmed by the responsibility. Other days, I am in awe of the privilege that I have been given.
We've been together for a year now and I've seen so many changes in you. You are talking and communicating so much. I honestly think I hear a new word from you almost every day. You are so proud to try out new words, signs, and sounds. We both get frustrated when I don't understand you but you've come so far.
You have matured so much. You are calmer and you can take a minute to listen before totally losing it. Sometimes there are still some less-than-stellar moments but we are working through those together. You want to do the right thing and you want to be good. We haven't used the stroller in months. You even managed to walk through the mall without too much trouble.
You love life. There are still so many aspects of every day life that are new to you. You've really enjoyed the snow this winter (until you get wet). You love going new places and seeing new things. You've gotten a little less sure about new people but you warm up quickly.
You are learning that you can't have everything. While this might seem silly to include, it's such a huge thing. You don't expect me to buy you something when we go to the store. You can look at something and then put it back. You don't expect anything from anyone, really. So, when you get a special treat, you are so very grateful.
You are so determined and a great problem solver. You want to do things for yourself and you want to help everyone you meet. Sometimes you're problem solving skills border on manipulation but I know that your determination and creativity will take you so far.
Sara---I am so proud of the little girl that you are becoming. Sometimes, it breaks my heart to see you growing up so quickly. You are not the little toddler that I met a year ago. You are a fiercely independent 5-year-old who doesn't always need her mom. But, when you're tired, and you ask to be my baby, I will gladly rock you in my lap. I promise you that I will hold you as long as you let me. You can be my baby as long as you need because I will always be your mom.
Te Amo Mija,