Letters to My Daughter - My Heart for You

Mija,

Tonight, as I sat in your bed rocking you to sleep, I started praying for you.  This isn't something I do often enough but I poured out my heart in that quiet, dark, precious moment.  I prayed that you will be an over-comer.  That you will over come the first four years of your life.  That you will over come your rough start in school. Most of all, I prayed that you will over come your mommy's imperfections.  I mess up far more often than I'd like but I know that you are thriving in spite of my mistakes.

I am in awe of you and who you are.  When you fall asleep in my lap or when I check on you at night, I am in amazed that you are sleeping in my house.  That I have been entrusted with your little life.  I can't help but smile when I see your adorable little face in my rear view mirror.  Most of the time, it seems crazy to me that I have this little person in the back seat of my car and that I am responsible for that little person.  And, when you call my name or kiss my cheek, I often tear up because this amazing little person actually loves me and calls me mom.  Some days, I am overwhelmed by the responsibility.  Other days, I am in awe of the privilege that I have been given.

We've been together for a year now and I've seen so many changes in you.  You are talking and communicating so much.  I honestly think I hear a new word from you almost every day.  You are so proud to try out new words, signs, and sounds.  We both get frustrated when I don't understand you but you've come so far.

You have matured so much.  You are calmer and you can take a minute to listen before totally losing it.  Sometimes there are still some less-than-stellar moments but we are working through those together.  You want to do the right thing and you want to be good.  We haven't used the stroller in months.  You even managed to walk through the mall without too much trouble.

You love life.  There are still so many aspects of every day life that are new to you.  You've really enjoyed the snow this winter (until you get wet).  You love going new places and seeing new things.  You've gotten a little less sure about new people but you warm up quickly.

You are learning that you can't have everything.  While this might seem silly to include, it's such a huge thing.  You don't expect me to buy you something when we go to the store.  You can look at something and then put it back.  You don't expect anything from anyone, really.  So, when you get a special treat, you are so very grateful.

You are so determined and a great problem solver.  You want to do things for yourself and you want to help everyone you meet.  Sometimes you're problem solving skills border on manipulation but I know that your determination and creativity will take you so far.

Sara---I am so proud of the little girl that you are becoming.  Sometimes, it breaks my heart to see you growing up so quickly.  You are not the little toddler that I met a year ago.  You are a fiercely independent 5-year-old who doesn't always need her mom.  But, when you're tired, and you ask to be my baby, I will gladly rock you in my lap.  I promise you that I will hold you as long as you let me.  You can be my baby as long as you need because I will always be your mom.

Te Amo Mija,
Your Mom

February 2014

Letters to My Daughter - Christmas Is Coming

Mija,

It's kind of funny to me now that I address your letters that way. I don't think I've ever called you that.  I call you lots of things but never that.  Right now, it's usually goofball or chickadee.

This time last year, I was pretty sad and frustrated.  I had finally accepted that you wouldn't be home for Christmas but I was starting to feel like you'd never come home. Now, I can't even remember what life was like before you came!  

Last year, I didn't put up a Christmas tree.  I just didn't want to decorate it myself and then take it down before I went to Colombia.  It just seemed pointless.  This year, I am so very, very excited to put up the tree with you.  We may actually do it this weekend---far sooner than socially acceptable.  I just know that you are going to love it and I'm too excited to wait.

You are so in awe of life right now.  Every new thing you do is the best thing ever.  I think that you will be so overjoyed at the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes of Christmas.  You will remind everyone around you of the pure joy of the season.  

I want to soak up every ounce of Christmas and experience all that we can.  (Of course, not too much so you don't get crabby and overwhelmed.  It's such a fine line with you.)  I want to take you to see the mall Santa and pay way too much for a horrible picture.  I want to play in the snow.  I want to ride the Christmas train.  We are going to dinner with Santa at Gigi's playhouse.  We'll do Christmas eve church and sing Silent Night with candles.  (That will be interesting since you are obsessed with blowing out candles.)  We'll do Christmas day with my family.  We'll start our own traditions.  

I want you to hear the Christmas story and love it on whatever level you can.  You love babies and animals so I think you'll like it.  I want you to learn Christmas carols and love them as much as I do.

I want to watch Christmas movies and make cookies.

I want you to wrap presents with me and learn the joy of giving to others.

I want so many things for you this Christmas.  

More than anything, I want you to know that you are loved.  That this Christmas will be different because you have a family to celebrate with.  That you will always be the best gift I have ever received.  

Feliz Navidad, mi chiquita.  
Merry Christmas, my love.  
Mom 

Letters to My Daughter - End of Summer

Mija,

It's 6:30PM on Sunday night.  You are laying on the couch next to me falling asleep.  I'm sitting here dreading going back to work tomorrow.  You went back to school on Tuesday but my going back officially signifies the end of summer.  We've had such an amazing summer.  It makes me sad to see it go but I know that we both need to get back to structure, routine and bed times!

It was so great for both of us to have this time together.  We had the same amount of time together in the winter but I think we were both so in shock that we didn't really get to enjoy it.  This summer was all about fun, family, and being together.

I learned so much about you.

*I learned that you prefer to stay up late and sleep in.  We got back into our habit of staying up until 9 and sleeping in until 8.  You are definitely struggling to get back on a school schedule.

*I learned that you do not like to be hot.  Bogota is so high that it never really gets hot there.  You've been outside for a couple of hot days this summer and you become very crabby.

*I learned that the only thing that makes you crabbier than being hot is being tired.

*I learned that you are an amazing traveler.  You have been from one end of the country to the other this summer and have done amazingly well.  You seem to thrive on travel---just like your mom.

*I learned that you love to swim but you have no idea how to do it.  You want to be let go in the pool but you don't even try to stay up.  You just sink like a rock.  I learned that you need to take swimming lessons soon.

*I learned that you don't really know how to play with children your own age.  If you can't be in charge, you don't really know what to do with other kids.

*I learned that you love people and love to meet new people but you still want mom nearby.  Even in the midst of playing, you will come check in with me to make sure that I am sharing in the excitement.

*I learned that you like people on your terms.  You aren't fond of people who are too in your face.  You prefer the ones that are ignoring you.  You like smaller groups of people and can get overwhelmed in a big crowd.

*I learned that you are even more famous than I thought and that you charm everyone you meet.

*I learned that 5 sounds so much older than 4.

*I learned that you have no idea what a birthday is but you love the attention that it brings.

*I learned that bandaids don't fix your owies.  They actually make them worse in your mind.



You've learned a lot too.

*You've learned so many new words.  You can say Mom now.  You call me that all the time when it's just the two of us but switch to Natty when other people are around.  Sleeping (seepin, seeping) is one of your favorites along with "Wait."  We were all pretty sure you were saying "Zip It" when we were camping but I haven't heard that one in a while.

*You've learned how to unbuckle the seat belt on a plane and in a car.  This is a problem.  I think you're going to be in your 5-point harness seat for a while.

*You've learned not to be afraid of falling water.  You will now play in sprinklers and take a shower.  You still don't really like the rain but it doesn't stress you out nearly as much as it used to.

*You've learned that sometimes we stop at a gas station just to get gas or go to the bathroom.  We don't get a snack every time.  This was a heartbreaking lesson for you to learn but you seem to get it now.  You get so excited when you do actually get it snack.  It's precious.


I have absolutely the best summer with you.  I loved watching you meet so many of the important people in my life and charming each and every one of them.  I loved the days that we got to sleep in and cuddle in the mornings and the nights when I let you fall asleep on the couch next to me.  I loved taking you to almost every kind of medical specialist around and having almost all of them tell me that you are doing amazingly well and completely healthy.  I loved that my only job this summer was to be your mom.

Sadly, summer can't last forever and I have to earn a paycheck so we can continue to have fun.   I can't wait to see what the fall brings for you.  I'm excited to see you play soccer and take swimming lessons.  I'm excited to see how much you learn in school.  Most of all, I'm excited just to be your mom!

Love,
Mommy

Letters to My Daughter - I Wish

Mija,

You've hit kind of a rough patch.  According to Jen Hatmaker, you're firmly in the Spaz-Out phase.  Here's how she describes it:

Stage 2: Spaz Out (4-6 Weeks – 3-4 Months)

Who knows what the straw on the camel’s back will be – maybe one more food he hates, maybe one final conversation he can’t decode, a moment of discipline, just a smell might trigger it – but something will happen, and your little one will finally lose it. Honeymoon is over. Once the damn has broken, it will flood for months.

There is screaming, kicking, hysterical hysterics. There is wailing and tantrums and full-out meltdowns. You may chase your beefy 8-year-old down the street where he ran screaming barefoot into traffic, throw him over your shoulder and lug him back home where the two of you hunker down for the next two hours, drenched in sweat, while you hold him tight and whisper love into his ears and he thrashes and yells and finally passes out. It is so helpful that your husband is out of town on this day.

Your sweet one is grieving. This is sorrow and loss and fear and trauma; it is visceral. It is devastating. You and your spouse are haunted, unshowered, unhinged, unmoored. You stare into each other’s eyes, begging the other one to fix this: What have we done? What are we doing? What are we going to do?

The house is a disaster. Your bios are huddled up in the corner, begging grandparents to come rescue them. You can’t talk to anyone. Everyone is still beaming at you, asking: “Isn’t this the best thing?? Is this just the happiest time of your life?” You are starving for truth-tellers in adoption.You scour blogs and Yahoo groups, desperate for one morsel of truth, one brave person to say how hard this in and give you a shred of hope. You only find adorable pictures and cute stories, and you despair. You feel so alone. You’ve ruined your life. You’ve ruined your kids’ lives. Your marriage is doomed. Your adopted child hates you. You want to go back to that person pining away in the Pre-Stage and punch her in the liver.


This pretty much describes our lives right now.  One minute, you're being sweet and cuddly and loving.  The next you are slapping me across the face or freaking out in Walgreens.  You'll get all excited to go somewhere (and so will I) and then  you just can't handle it.  I keep trying to remind myself that it isn't about me.  It's about you and your process.  

There are so many things that I wish in this phase:

*I wish you had more language.  

*I wish you could explain to me what you need or want.

*I wish I knew what you were thinking and feeling.  

*I wish I knew in that moment if you were feeling mad, sad, hurt, abandoned, scared, insecure.  

*I wish I could tell when you are genuinely upset about something and when you are just being defiant.

*I wish I didn't have to go to work every day so you could sleep until you were ready to get up.

*I wish I knew how much English you understand.  For that matter, I wish I knew Spanish you understand.

*I wish I knew what you really think about your new life.  (Or maybe sometimes I don't....)

*I wish you could tell me about your day at school.  Maybe that's playing into frustrations some days.  

*I wish I knew if you were grieving your old life.  

*I wish we could talk and reason through things.

*I wish you could understand why I set limits and correct you.

*I wish you would stop biting.  

*I wish you could feel secure in your new life.

*I wish I knew if you know how much I love you.  

Until the Spaz-Out phase ends, and until you get more language, I will continue to love you the best I know how.  I will strive to enjoy the sweet moments and seek to understand what you need in the rough moments. I will continue to remind us both that this phase won't last forever.  

I love you, Bug!

Tu Mama

Letters to My Daughter - One Month Home

Mija,

When I started writing these letters to you, I addressed them to Mija. I don't think I've ever called you that.  You know now that your name is Sara but I still prefer to call you Sarita.  (It doesn't sound pretty in English,though, so I introduce you as Sara.)  Most of the time, I call you Bug---as in Love Bug.  You seem to know that I'm talking to you but I'm sure you don't know why I call you that.

It's hard to believe that we've only been home for a month. There have been so many firsts and so many changes. You have done so well.  I saw everything catch up with you at the end of last week but you're usually pretty flexible.
*You took your first plane ride a month ago.  I was amazed at how well you did.

*You have met soooo many people.  You love people but you always come back and check in with me when someone else is around.  I love that you want me around!

*You started school.  I've seen so many changes in you in just the first week.  You are talking so much more---too bad it isn't English or Spanish.  (I think that you are convinced you are speaking this gibberish language that you keep hearing here.)  You LOVE school and always want to go.  You're so proud to get your backpack in the morning.

*You started hanging out at Kate's house.  (Sadly, I had to go back to work.)  You love her cats--even though you insist they are dogs.  You are so tired from all the fun by the time I pick you up.  Unfortunately, you tend to be a little crabby in the afternoons when we get home.  It makes me long for the weekends and summer vacation.

*You flew to NY to meet your grandpa, uncles, aunt, and cousins.  You loved it there.  Grandpa is smitten with you.  You got to see Claudia again and seemed to recognize her.  Nana loves to spoil you.  Their friends were all so excited to meet you.

*You started going to church.  You love any excuse to get dressed up.  I love peaking in on you at the end of the service and seeing you hanging out with the other kids and doing exactly what they are doing.

*You went to lots of doctors appointments.  You're a trooper with things like eye exams and blood draws.  I've been inundating you with eye drops.  You were ok with them at first but I think they've gotten kind of old.

*You had your first McDonalds fries.  You're sold.  We haven't done the whole Happy Meal thing yet.  I hate McDonalds so I don't want you to be too addicted.  


I've seen so many changes in you.
*You are talking a lot.  It's not always understandable but you are trying so hard.  You will repeat sounds and words now which you wouldn't do before.

*I haven't measured you since we went to the pediatrician but I'm convinced you are taller.  You've outgrown almost all of your 2T clothes.

*You are maturing so quickly.  You will hold my hand and walk with me now.  (This is huge!)  You will come back when I call you and follow directions.  You aren't as impulsive.

*You aren't biting any more.  Sometimes, if you are really frustrated, you will open your mouth and glare at me but you haven't actually bitten in weeks.  (Don't make a liar out of me, please!)  You now growl instead of hitting when you are frustrated.

*You aren't napping during the week.  This isn't really your choice but it helps you get to bed earlier which helps you get up in the morning.  You are not a morning person.  Neither am I.  We survive.

*You love to dance now.  I couldn't get you to do it in Colombia.  Now, you yell "baila" and throw your hips around any time you hear music.  Any time.

I know it sounds cliche but I really am more in love with you every day.  I just grin and hug you countless times a day because I just can't believe that you are here.  With me!  You are funny, sweet, caring, hard working, determined, smart, sassy, goofy and I am in awe of you.  I can't believe how blessed I am.

I can't wait to see what the next month holds!

Tu Mama
(Someday soon you'll master the M sound and I can stop being Papa.)  

Letters to My Daughter--World Down Syndrome Day

Tomorrow is World Down Syndrome Day. This year's theme is I Am Who I Am. Here is my letter to Sara about who she is.


Mija,

I can't believe we've been home for two weeks. So many times, I felt like this would never happen. Now, it seems like you've been here all along.

I can honestly say that I'm in awe of you. I loved you long before I met you but I had no idea how wonderful you are. You really are amazing.

You are a charmer. People love you every where you go. We were in Walgreens long enough to pick up pictures today and they were all talking about you when we left. You say "hola" to everyone we meet. You can't leave with out a "bye," "ciao" and blowing a kiss. This week alone, you charmed the eye doctor, pediatrician, lab ladies, school staff, Anna, Lauren, and a random lady in Target.

You are a hard worker. You love to help. Today you helped me make the beds, clean the floor, and put away the groceries. I don't even ask you to help, you just like to. (I hope you carry this trait with you into your teenage years!)

You want to learn. If you see me do something once, you want to do it alone. I got you a little chair at Ikea. You watched me screw in one piece and then did the rest yourself. I cracked an egg for you this morning and you then did one perfectly! You are do clever and you are always trying to do new things. I can't wait to see what happens when you are in school!

You are so good about medical things. You willingly let me put eye drops in. You give yourself your allergy medicine. You were so good at the pediatrician, eye doctor, and lab. You tried to do everything asked of you. You even gave them your right arm after they took blood out of your left.

You are sweet and kind. You comfort people who are sad or hurt. You randomly stop playing to give me a kiss. You love to cuddle in my bed before we start our day. You love babies and like to pat and "sush" them.

I hope that, as you get older, people continue to see the real you. You are so much more than an extra chromosome. You are amazing! I am in awe of you!

Mama

Letters to My Daughter - Happy Birthday, Mija!

Mija,

Tomorrow is your 4th birthday.  For a while, I thought I would be there celebrating with you.  A little while ago, I found out that wouldn't be possible.  I know that tomorrow will be hard--probably harder for me than it will be for you.  After all, your life is what you've known.  You've always celebrated your birthdays in an orphanage.  You have no idea what an over-the-top American birthday party is all about.  Don't worry!  You will know next year!  (Don't get used to it, though.  I'm not a huge fan of huge birthday parties.)  

On your birthday, I'll be flying to NY to visit your Nana, Grandpa, Aunt, Uncles and cousins. I can't wait to make that trip with you! (I really hope you like to fly!)

You're going to love your cousins Grace and Kinsley. (I'm sure Grace will teach you a lot!) I can't wait to see the three of you playing together.

Your Nana and Grandpa have cows, pigs, and chickens. I hope you love the animals and aren't afraid of them. (You can be afraid of the chickens a little. I am!) Maybe Grandpa will buy you some little boots so you can do chores with us. If not, I'm sure Nana will gladly let you stay in the house with her.

Your Uncle Rob isn't too sure about you right now. However, if you're willing to sit and watch his favorite movies over and over, I'm sure he'll love you. I don't know if he'll let you come on our regular movie outing. You might have to stay home with Nana.

Your Uncle Bryon is kind of a punk but I have a sneaking suspicion he will have a soft spot in his heart for you.

You are going to love our trips to NY. There is so much to do there in the summer. We'll take you to the fair to see all the animals. When you're a little older, we'll check out the Charcoal Corral and the Drive In. And, you have to take a trip to Niagara Falls!

So, Mija, on your birthday, I will spend the day dreaming of all the fun times we have ahead of us. I will pray that you are celebrated and loved. I will rejoice that this will be your last birthday without a family.

Te amo, Mija!
Tu Mami

Letters to My Daughter - July

Mija,

I'm sitting here with tears running down my face.  I just want you home.  I'm frustrated with how long this process is taking and it just seems to be getting longer. I was hoping this would be my last letter to you because I wanted to be with you in August. But, that wasn't meant to be. Now, I'm just hoping and praying we are back in time for a good, old fashioned, American Thanksgiving and Christmas. I spend all my time raising money to get you home, filling out paper work, making phone calls, researching, studying...I just want to be done with it all. I just want to meet you and hold you in my arms. You belong here with me!

Your Tia Anna and I went on vacation last month. One last girls trip before you come and change my life forever. We spent a lot of the time talking about how much fun you would have had if you'd been with us and where we will go on our summer vacation next year--with you! Everything I do this summer makes me think of you and how much fun you would be having if you were there. It's amazing how much I can miss someone that I've never met. My life just isn't complete without you in it.

Your Nana threw a shower for us in June. Our friends were incredibly generous and you got some great gifts. Your cousin Grace checked out, and approved, most of them. All I really need is a carseat and I will be all set for you to finally come home. I'm amazed at how much of the house you have taken over and you aren't even here yet.

Mija, even though I'm frustrated and sad, I will continue to work and fight. I will do everything I can to get you here as soon as possible. I love you and can't wait to share my life with you!

Con todo mi amor,
Tu Mami

(I probably should warn you know about your first winter in the US. It will be a little bit cold but you will LOVE the snow!)

Letters to My Daughter - May 2012

Mija,

I've been putting off writing this letter to you because I was starting to feel like I'd never get through this process and you would never come home. So many people kept asking about you and I felt like I had nothing to say. I was still waiting for the home study to be finished and I haven't received any more information about you. It was a little discouraging. Even with all that, some big things have happened for you in the past month. Whether I feel like it or not, each day brings us one day closer to meeting. I dream about that day. I long for it. You are so loved!

Some of my amazing work friends got together last month and threw you a shower. They bought you tons of great toys, books, decorations, clothes. You are well spoiled already. (You are so special that a few of the guys from work showed up for their first ever showers!)

We all love to sit around and talk about what it will be like when you finally get here. People continue to offer to baby sit you, teach you about sports, let you swim in their pool, travel with us.

After the shower, your Tia Anna and Miss Julia came over and helped me unpack and set up your room. Your bedroom is adorable. Every time I walk by it, I long to see you in it. Your play room is coming together too. I just need to get some more shelves for all your toys! (You should probably know that Anna is responsible for all the cuteness. Don't expect that kind of thing from me!)

Sarita, I am amazed at your power to bring people together. There are people that I haven't talked to in years that are watching your story unfold and helping bring you home. There are people that I've never met that are very invested in getting you home as soon as possible. It's a little bit crazy to me how many people love you!

I met with the principal of your school the other day. Your Tia Anna and I went and met the teacher. I could definitely picture you in that class with all those adorable little kids. The teacher speaks Spanish and that makes me feel so much better about sending you off every day.

Last weekend was Mother's Day. It's always a hard day for me. I've wanted to be a mom for so long. While I AM your mom, this year just made me realize how much I want you here with me!!! NOW!! I look forward to celebrating our first Mother's Day together next year.

I've been trying to read as much as I can on your country. I want to help you preserve that heritage. I also want to get as much as possible out of our time together there---even though I hope it will be short.

Today, I finally got the official home study in the mail. This is a HUGE step!! I'm so excited and I wish you were here to celebrate with me. Now, I'm waiting for home land security and immigration to give me permission to bring you into this country. I hope they work quickly and that we'll be together before your birthday! Until then, I promise to keep working and to love you more every day!

Te quiero,
Tu Mami

Letters to My Daugher - April 2012

Mija,

I can't believe I've been in this crazy process for over 2 months! In some ways, I feel like this has just started. In other ways, I feel like I've been working to get you home forever.

Last week was a big one--I was on spring break and spent most of it in NY with your Nana, Grandpa, and Uncles. It was also Easter and my birthday--see, I told you it was a big week. This made me think tons about how life will be different when you come home. Traveling will be harder but it will be so fun to see you experience so many new things. It also made me think a lot about our little family and what kind of traditions I want to have for birthdays, holidays, vacations. I really, really, really hope we are together for your birthday. I'd love for us to be home by then but I'll be happy if we are together.

I can't wait for you to meet your cousin Grace. Every time I saw her this week, I could see the two of you playing together. I hope that you will be close as you grow up--despite the distance.

I've discovered I don't really know anything about the country you come from. I got a bunch of kids books from the library and I'm learning a little bit slowly. My next step is to go on the internet and look for local resources. I'm pretty sure there are restaurants, festivals, and parades for every country in Chicago.

Nana, Aunt Amy, and I registered this week for all the things you'll need when you come home. I loved picking out things for you. I just wish I could afford them on my own. You will soon learn that your Mommy doesn't like to ask for help. It's hard for me and I don't enjoy it---at all! However, I certainly can't make it through this adoption process on my own so I'm learning to ask for help and let other people do things for me---and buy things for you. I wish you could see and meet all the people that are working so hard for you to come home and are so excited about every step in this process. You are VERY loved!

I've started thinking about what you will call all my friends--who are soon to be your friends. I don't feel like we are old enough to go by Mr. or Ms. Last Name. (Somehow, we aren't as old as our parents were when we were little.) There are a few people outside your actual aunts and uncles that will be Tia or Aunt. Other than that, I guess we'll go with Mr or Miss First Name. I'm not sure why this has consumed so much of my thoughts but it has.

You now have an offer to teach you all about American food and sports. The most important thing you need to know about American sports is that we love the Red Sox--whether they love us or not.

Well, little girl, I got another packet of paper work in the mail today. The sooner I get it done, the sooner you will be home!

Te amo, mija,
Tu Mami

Letters to My Daughter--March 2012

Mija,

I addressed you as Mija in your last letter because I wasn't allowed to tell everyone your name. I can now tell everyone that your name is Sara Rebecca Keller but I still like calling you Mija--after all, you are my daughter. I love that your name is Sara. It's a beautiful, simple name and I think it fits you perfectly. I couldn't have picked better myself. Your middle name is Rebecca--after your Nana. My middle name is my grandma's name and I love that tradition.

I fall asleep every night dreaming about the day that I will actually get to meet you. I think a lot of people are surprised that I haven't met you yet but it really doesn't matter to me. Most people don't meet their children before they come into their lives for good. It's no different with you. I love you, either way.

I've spent lots of time getting ready for you to come now that a lot of the paperwork is done. It's so nice to focus on you and not papers and details. I did lots of shopping for you this weekend and you have tons of cute summer clothes. Every time I fold something or hang it up in your closet, I marvel at how small you are and how cute you will be in pink!

You may be one of the most loved children on the planet. Your Tia Anna is coming this week to help me get your room ready. Your Nana, your Aunt Amy, and I are planning to scope out the stores and pick out all the things you will need when you come home. You have little friends that want to play at the park with you and big friends that want you to come swimming every day. Your play room is starting to fill up with toys. Your Grandpa wants you to come see his animals and ride the horse that he doesn't even have yet. So many people are excited about you coming home and are working hard to help me make that happen.

I really hope that the next few months fly by and you will soon be safely home and tucked into your adorable bed.

Te amo, mija!

Tu mami

Letters to My Daughter - Feb 2012

Mija,

I stole this idea from your Aunt Amy. She regularly posts letters to your cousin Grace so she will know how much she is loved as she gets older. I've always loved the idea and I'm so glad I finally have someone to write to.

I am so excited for you and I to become a family. It's amazing to me how much I can love someone that I have never met. I never would have thought it was possible to love someone this much based on a picture and a few pages of information. Nevertheless, I do love you and can't wait for you to come home.

Multiple times a day, I think about what my life will be like when you are a part of it. Sometimes, I think about the big things: vacations, Christmas, getting ready for work/school in the morning. Usually, I just think about the small things: which side of the car I'll put your car seat on; watching tv; grocery shopping. A lot of the time, I think about what you are doing right now. Are you happy? Are you healthy? Do you have any idea your life is going to completely change?

I'm constantly amazed at how many other people love you and can't wait to meet you. You already have so many people volunteering to babysit you, buy you things, love on you. Your Tia Anna is planning to decorate your bedroom. Your Aunt Janelle knew you would be part of our family before I did. Your Nana is very excited to have another grandchild. I can't wait for you to meet all your Uncles, Aunts, cousins (you will soon have 2!), Grandpa, and all my friends that are praying for your safe arrival.

I wish that I could go and get your right now but that's now how it works. Until then, I promise to do everything I can to get you home as soon as possible. I will pray for you daily and love you a little more each and every day.

Con Amor, Tu Mami