Gotcha Day? Metcha Day? What????

There is some discussion in adoption circles about what day to celebrate.  Do you celebrate Gotcha Day?  Metcha Day?  The day the adoption was finalized?  The day you came home?  I seriously stressed about this before I left for Colombia.  Sometimes I laugh at the things that I worried about.

Here are my thoughts on something that really isn't that important.  I've probably put way too much thought into this but sometimes my brain just goes to weird places.  

I think that it's possible that people celebrate different days depending on why they adopted.  (Again, these are just my crazy theories.)  

Metcha Day

I think maybe people that adopt because they found a picture and fell in love with a child celebrate Metcha Day.  They love this child and the day they met them was the day their lives were change.  

Sara's Metcha Day was January 14th.  We went to the social services office and chatted with the social worker and the case manager for about 15 minutes.  I had already seen Sara in the parking lot so I was not really paying tons of attention to the conversation.  (I had already told my mom that she had to pay attention because I wouldn't.)  After our conversation, they hurried Sara into the room and left us alone.  

January 14th was definitely a huge day in our lives.  Our lives changed forever that day.  However, that isn't the day I choose to "celebrate" with Sara for a couple of reasons.  January 14th is my niece's birthday.  I didn't want to take away from Grace's day and I also wanted Sara to have her own special day.  (It is pretty cool that my sister-in-law both became moms on the same day, though.  Just three years apart.)  

Gotcha Day

I think that maybe people who adopt to rescue a child celebrate Gotcha Day.  The most important day for them is the day their child leaves the orphanage or institution.

Sara's Gotcha Day was also June 14th.  After we visited with her in the room for about 15 minutes, they let me take her to the hotel.  It seemed like they were just giving me this child.  I had to keep reminding myself that I had been through countless interviews, background checks, and processes.  They weren't just randomly handing her to me. 

That day was very surreal to me.  I was finally meeting my child.  I was a mom.  It was real but didn't feel that way.  I felt like I was babysitting or playing house or something.  It felt like someone could still come and take her away.  

Integration Day

In Colombia you have Integration Day.  About a week after you get your child, you go back in for an interview.  You talk about how things are going and how you are both adjusting.  I remember thinking that it was pretty short for something so significant.  Integration Day felt pretty important to me---kind of like it was my last chance to back out.  

Adoption Day

I think when people adopt because they can't have children, Adoption Day becomes very important.  After all, it's the day your child official has your last name.

In all my thinking and planning, I had thought we would celebrate Adoption Day.  After all the drama I went through getting the Sentencia signed, the actual signature was incredibly anticlimactic.  In all honesty, I don't even know what day the adoption was official.  I signed a blank piece of paper that was later attached to the corrected decree.  Because I don't know when it was official and it wasn't a momentous occasion, we don't celebrate adoption day.    

Home

It's possible that people who adopt to share their life with a child celebrate HOME!

March 7, 2013.  The day we came home and started our lives together!  (Poor baby was so tired!)  This was the day it all became real to me.  When we walked through customs and boarded a plane, it was real.  I kept expecting someone to stop us or check our paperwork or make me prove that she was my daughter.  Even when we arrived in the US, the processed our paperwork but never asked me anything.  I really thought they would question me or my motives or something.  Nope.  Everyone just accepted that she was with me because she was my daughter.  

We landed on the plane and were greeted by friends and family.  It was real.  We were home.  This little girl was my responsibility and was living in my house!  

Like I said in the beginning, it's possible that I've put way too much thought into this and that I'm totally off with my reasoning.  Maybe people just pick the day that feels most significant to them.  Maybe other families don't put nearly as much thought into this as I did.  Maybe I have too much time on my hands while Sara is at school.  

No words

Where to start? I got up really early this morning and left Sara for the first time so I could go sign the adoption decree. I really didn't like either of those things.

I chatted with my facilitator on the way to the court house. She said she thought we could get the sentencia, birth certificates and passport application done today and we could be home on Tuesday. I was on top of the world.

When we arrived, the lawyer told us there was a mistake. The paperwork says I'm Swedish. She assured us it wasn't a big deal. It could be fixed quickly.

EXCEPT the very cranky secretary insisted she didn't have time to fix it today. (It was her mistake!!!!!). She says she will fix it when she gets a chance. So, until this lady feels like fixing her typo, there is nothing we can do but wait.

Waiting isn't the end of the world. I hate that I knew when I would he home and now it's all up in the air again. We all know I hate the unknown. It will probably just be one extra day. It's just frustrating to me that my future is in this very uncaring woman's hands. It's expensive to stay here even one more night. And, I really want to go home!!!

After we left the court house, we walked around the historic district. I was glad to get to see some more of Bogota. I saw the president's house and lots of old, beautiful buildings. It was nice to walk around and chat but our spirits were definitely dampened. (I even got to see some of the red light district in action on my cab ride back.)

I got back to the hotel and was greeted at the gate by my girl with lots of hugs and kisses. She makes all the struggles and waiting and frustration worth it.

Sentencia!!!!!

The judge's secretary called the lawyer to say that the judge will sign today. So, I will go to the court at 9 AM tomorrow to sign. Sara will officially be a Keller. (There is still some confusion about her actual name but Keller is the important part.)

After that we will get new birth certificates, a passport and a visa. If all goes well, we will be home on Wednesday.

Counting days

Although it doesn't always feel like it, we are in our final days here. From what I understand, the judge has until Friday to sign. (I've been wrong before but I think I'm right this time.)

Now I'm into counting days.
•If we get sentencia today, we could be home this weekend.
•If we get it today or tomorrow, we shouldn't have to do laundry again. I guess I'd better set aside our traveling clothes.
•If the judge waits until Friday, Sara will miss her appointment with the developmental pediatrician next Wednesday.
•How much money do I need to get our of the bank to pay for the hotel if he signs today, tomorrow, Friday? (Have you ever heard of a hotel that only takes cash?)

Lots and lots of thoughts in my head and no control over anything.

You'd think I'd be used to waiting.

Today marks a week since the judge signed the papers and we still don't have sentencia. I have no idea why. I must be misunderstanding something or missing a step in the process. I thought last week that we would be getting ready to leave by now.

People keep telling me to enjoy my time here but, in all honesty, I'm really ready to go home. Even if we get sentencia today, we won't be home until next week. I'm starting to think we may be flying on our original tickets for next Saturday.

If you know me at all, you know I am a doer. I love lists and checking things off. I'm very time oriented. If I say tomorrow, I mean tomorrow. I don't mean sometime in the next two weeks. These two things are combining here to drive me crazy. There is nothing I can do but wait. I've done lots of that in the last year and I still hate it.

I know we will survive. I think a piece of me will miss it when we get home. I know things aren't perfect at home either. I know all these things. Right now, I just want the phone call and to go home. That's just where I am right now.

Still Waiting

Our paperwork went in a week ago. I've heard nothing since then. I've been assured progress is being made but I probably won't hear anything until Sentencia. Then I have to go in and sign the official decree. After that, it will be about a week to finish up visas and passports and we will be on our way home. It's really hard not knowing when that will be. We could get sentencia today or we could wait in silence for several weeks. There is no way to know.

The family that we have spent a lot of time with got Sentencia on Monday. They are leaving on Saturday. I think that's a big part of my funk. I'm praying for someone new to come that we can hang it with. The days here can be long and lonely.

Sara is doing so well. She's a lot less temperamental than she was. I swear she's growing up daily. She's beginning to understand English. I've tried some sign with her since she already uses a lot of gestures. She never seems interested but then pulled out the sign and English for "please" last night.

She thinks she owns the hotel. She loves everyone and has no problem entering any open door. She also likes to hang it in the kitchen with the staff. The other day, she skyped with a family from Spain. It's hard to teach her boundaries in such a contrived situation. This isn't real life.

Today we are going to visit her orphanage and say goodbye to the staff. I have mixed feelings about the outing. I love any excuse to get out and I really want to see the home but I worry about how Sara will react and what she will understand.

Please continue to pray for us. Pray that our papers would be signed soon. Pray for our health. There are lots of people in the hotel and lots if germs. Pray that we will enjoy this time together.


Did you know that the Super Bowl is on Sunday? I just found this out. For some reason, it makes me very sad.