Sunday, April 28, 2013

I'm Not Done

Last week, I started packing up Sara's 2T clothes for a friend who is adopting two little girls.   I even sold a couple of things that Sara doesn't need/use in an online yard sale.  Then, I panicked.  I found myself staring at a little girl over and over and realized I'm not done.

I want nothing  more than to pick her up and hold her forever.  

There are a lot of parallels between pregnancy/childbirth and adoption.  One of them is that, when it's all over, you think:  That wasn't so bad.  I could do that again.  That's where I was this week.  I was researching her country (a different one than Sara was in) and it's requirements.  I tried to research different agencies that work in her country.  (I could only find one.)  I tried to figure out how to time things so I could travel next summer since I don't have any sick time.  I watched her grant grow and tried to figure out how I could pay for another adoption.  I tried to figure out how much harder two would be than one.  I contacted another RR family who is adopting from her country.  

After all, who wouldn't want to wake up to that little face every day.

Then, reality hit.  While Sara is doing VERY well and has transitioned better than I ever thought possible, it would not be fair to her to start another adoption right now.  We've been home for less than 2 months.  She still needs to bond with her mom and learn what a family is.  She has come so far and has so far to go.  While I want to be Lene's mom, Sara has to be my top priority right now.  While I'm not ruling out another adoption in the future, I can't pursue Lene right now.  

I pray daily that she won't still be waiting for a family when the time is right for me to pursue another child.  She'll be 3 this summer.  Her country seems to have a rather long process but, if a family committed right now, they could probably have her home for her 4th birthday.  Help me make her 3rd birthday the last one she celebrates without a mom.  Consider adopting her; donate to her growing grant; post her picture and info on your facebook; write a blog post.  Help this little girl find her forever family!  Don't make her wait for me.  

My little family--for now. 

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart!