Short Term Missions - Good, Bad or Ugly?

I've heard a lot of negativity about short term missions trips recently.  I even had someone message me and ask me how in  the world I could justify taking a team to Mexico every year just to harm orphans.  (Seriously.)  I've read When Helping Hurts.  I know about RAD (Reactive Detachment Disorder) and other attachment issues.  I know that orphanages are harmful to children.  I also understand the idea that the money we spend to get down there could do a lot of good down there.  I get all that.  I really do.  But, I take a team anyway.

A lot of missions trips have done a lot of harm.  Phrases like "glorified vacations" and "poverty tourism" didn't come from no where.  Neither did people's fear and dislike of short terms missions.  Even in the valley that we visit there were numerous organizations working which had unintentionally created a lot of dependency.  (This is changing through communication and cooperation.)  Well meaning people giving their lives to the people of the valley.  And harming the people in the process.  So how do you avoid hurting the people you want to help?  And why go at all?

1.  Go with a reputable organization that is living and working with the people.  There are lots of agencies that organize missions trips to place they aren't intimately involved with.  Missions Trips are big business.  Make sure that you are going with a well-established organization that knows and understands the values and pitfalls of short terms missions trips.

The organization that we go with has made quite a few changes over the last several years to make sure that they are not creating dependency, participating in poverty tourism or harming the children in their care.  It's a balancing act of knowing and understanding the people and the needs there while honoring the people of the valley and their way of life.

2.  No one, not even someone who runs a children's' home will tell you that orphanages are good places for children.  Children need to be with families.  But, the systems in other countries are far behind ours.  (And ours are far from perfect!)  Many cultures don't believe in foster care or adoption.  At this point in history, there are tons of children living in orphanages for a variety of reasons.  It's a fact.  Family preservation is great.  Services to the families are great.  But they don't exist.  So, we have to work within the system as it exists right now.  Not the ideal situations that may exist 10 or 20 years down the road.

I have to believe that a well-run, private orphanage is better than a large, government run institution.  Sure.  There are bad private orphanages but, overall, private is better.  Especially when that private children's home includes family-style homes for the kids and education through college.  The key to breaking poverty is education.  A free college education gives kids a chance to break out of the cycle that previous generations were in.

3.  Yes.  We spend a decent amount of money to get there as a team and stay for a week.  I work very hard to keep the costs down and it actually costs less than the vacation I just took with my daughter.  But, yes, we could send the money down there.  However, the mission stays alive and thrives because of their visitors.  Visitors make donations to the mission to cover room and board.  Visitors spend money every week in the community (mostly restaurants) which allows some of these places to stay afloat.  And, visitors are the ones who end up sponsoring kids or missionaries and making future donations to the mission.

People are more likely to give to an organization that they trust and a need that they have seen.  People like to give to something they have a connection to.  Someone spending some money to go visit the mission could lead to a lifetime of donations from that person.

Also, many of the staff at the mission started out as visitors.  I visited in 2003 and 2004.  I was then on staff during the summers of 2005, 2006, and 2007.  I took a year off of teaching and went to the mission during 2008 and 2009.  I started an English program for some of the kids with disabilities that came to the special education center.  Someone else took it over when I left.  At least on  of those kids is now teaching English to help support their family.  All because I went as a visitor.  The executive director of the entire organization also started as a visitor with her church.  (The non-profit organization that runs the mission bases is US based and must have a US executive director.)

4.  We don't go to "love on kids."   We go to support the full time staff that are living and working in the home and in the community.  Our jobs might look like renovating an apartment or bagging beans and rice.  We do the behind-the-scenes so the staff can work with the children and the locals and build relationships with them.  We go into the community to help out with Bible clubs run by Mexican nationals who are in the communities every week bonding with the kids and building relationships with the families.

We get to meet the kids in a controlled environment on Monday night.  We are not care-givers.  We are visitors.  I know that this can be a fine line and I have mixed feelings about it.  Personally, I keep my distance from the kids.  But, I know that a lot of these kids end up with sponsors based on these evenings.  Sponsorship is a huge part of the children's' home budget.  It's what keeps them afloat.  Sponsors can choose to send letters but I think most just send checks monthly.

I think the key is being conscious of what you're doing and why you're doing it.  I know that the mission leadership has become much more conscious of the good and the bad of short term teams in recent years.  I'm conscious of our team and what they are doing and my motivations.  (I could probably have more detailed conversations with my team members about their motivations.)

Are all trips good or bad?  Nope.  

Is it a fine line?  Absolutely.  

Should we scrap all short term trips because some are bad?  No.  I don't think so.  

If you are personally against short term missions trips, that's ok with me.  Don't go on one.  Don't give to one.  But don't villanize everyone who thinks and feels differently than you do.    

  

I welcome comments and questions that are honest and productive.  I enjoy a good conversation and even debate if it's polite and respectful.  

My Why

If you've been around me on social media for any length of time, you know that I post.  A lot.  I know that.  I always have some new fund raising idea or side hustle.  Some of you may wonder why you still follow me at all. 

I post about Plexus.

And Color Street.

And my knitting business.

And waiting kids.

And adopting families.

Sometimes I even post about what other people are selling or doing.

Basically, it probably looks like I'm always trying to raise money one way or another.  

But hang with me! 

I also post teaching memes.  (Because I can't post actual stories about teaching.)

And about my annual trip to Mexico and our other travels.

A little bit about farm life.  

And I mix it all up with Sara stories and pictures and videos.

But I post everything I do for a reason.  And the reason all leads back to this girl.

This girl is my why.  

I post about Plexus because being healthy makes me a better mom to her.

And Color Street because I'm committed to raising money for adopting families and waiting children while getting our little family into a position where we can live debt free and I can plan for her financial future.

And my knitting business because I love knitting and helping others where I can with the money I make.

And waiting kids because every child deserves a family just as much as she does.

And adopting families because so many people helped me get this little girl home.  I will always be indebted to them for helping me create my little family.  I strive to provide that kind of encouragement to other families.  

Sometimes I even post about what other people are selling or doing because I want to encourage others who have a heart to help those less fortunate.

Basically, it probably looks like I'm always trying to raise money one way or another.  Because I am.  If I can find a product that you need/want/will buy anyway, why not let you know that you can your purchase can help others and not just a big company?

But hang with me! 

I also post teaching memes.  (Because I can't post actual stories about teaching.)  I wish I could share more of my actual teaching stories.  Teaching is such a big part of who I am and what I do.  My love for my students is what made me decide to adopt a child with Down syndrome.  

And about my annual trip to Mexico and our other travels because I firmly believe that live was not meant to be lived in one place.  There is so much out there to see and experience.

A little bit about farm life because who doesn't want to know about baby goats?

And I mix it all up with Sara stories and pictures and videos because she is my why.  I strive to keep it real.  Not every day is a picnic.  Some are just hard.  But in between those rough moments are the hilarious, sassy, funny moments with my girl that make this life all worth it.  

But I post everything I do for a reason.  And the reason all leads back to this girl.

Egg My Yard

A team from North Darien Bible Church will be traveling this summer to serve with Foundation for His Ministry in Baja, California, Mexico.  As part of our fund raising efforts, we are Egging Yards for Easter.

EGG MY YARD!

Support the North Darien Bible Church Mission Trip to Mexico.

Order your candy-filled eggs to be delivered to your yard for Easter morning fun!

Contact Natalie Keller at ntkeller08@gmail.com to order.

15 eggs for $10

25 Eggs for $15

50 Eggs for $30

100 Eggs for $50

You can check out more about our Missions Trip at www.facebook.com/BajaSummerTrip

If you'd like to order, you can fill out the form by clicking here.  

You can donate to our trip by clicking here.

Have a Child with Down Syndrome, Will Travel

Last week, I took the munchkin to Mexico.  It wasn't her first trip there.  I've had a few comments since then that range from "Wow!  You're brave!" to "I could never do that with my kid" to "You must be crazy!"  Let me address those.  I am definitely a little crazy and maybe brave.  And, in my opinion, you can do that with your kid and you should!  (I obviously don't know every single family dynamic or child but I think the vast majority of kids (special needs or not) should be traveling or at least getting out of their comfort zone.)  

In Sara's first 18 months home, she had been in 18 states. She's added at least two new ones since then.  I don't say that to brag.  I say that because traveling is obviously something I enjoy.  I was worried that she would change that but she really hasn't.  She loves to fly and is a road trip warrior.  Obviously that makes it easier to travel with her.  She's seen both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.  She's been in more airports than I can count.  She's been to Mexico 3 times.  If I want to go, we go.

Now, is traveling with her easy?  No.  Does she always enjoy it?  No.  She's not a big fan of Mexico.  It triggers things in her that are hard for her to deal with.  But she's getting better!!!  It took her until Wednesday this time to start asking when she'd go home.  Do the positives outweigh the negatives?  Absolutely.  

Positives:
1.   She gets out of her comfort zone.  Sara is perfectly happy to stay home, eat goldfish crackers, and watch her ipad.  Forever.  While this is fine on an occasional Saturday, she needs to experience more in life.

2.  If I don't get her used to traveling now, I'll never be able to travel again.  I'm a single mom.  It's just the two of us.  If I ever want to travel again, I need to train my travel partner when she's young.  Not when she's 18 or 28 and "mature enough to handle it."  By then, she'll be permanently planted in front of Disney Junior and I'll never get her out of the house.

3.  She's learning that mommy is a constant no matter where she goes.  When a child has moved around a lot, they need to learn that home is the person and not the place.  She needs to be attached to me and not her things or her space.  Mommy travels with you and always stays with you.

4.  Life experiences.  Kids (and adults) can learn more from life experiences than they ever can in a classroom or from a book (so says this teacher)!  Give your kids life experiences---even if they may be a little uncomfortable at first.

5.  Especially in international travel, you have the chance for others to see that having a disability is ok and that a child with Down syndrome can be part of a family.  It seems to so simple to us but it's not in so many parts of the world.  We encountered kids who were both kind and cruel to Sara.  It's hard to watch but it's educating people who just don't see kids with special needs around them.

Negatives:
1.  Sara tends to wet her pants when she gets overwhelmed and frustrated.  It's not the worst behavior ever but it takes some extra planning on my part.  I have to have lots of extra clothes on me at all times.  And I end up with a suitcase full of nasty dirty clothes.  But it is what it is.  She does it at home sometimes as well.

2.  It's exhausting.  Three days later and I'm still exhausted.  I got up, put Sara on the bus and went back to bed for two hours.  Managing all of her needs while adjusting to time changes and just being on the go for a week is tiring.  There's no way around it.

3.  It can be hard to keep up the pace of the rest of the group.  You may have to miss out on certain activities because it's just too much.  It's ok to take an afternoon and nap or swim or chill in your hotel room.  Just make sure you aren't doing that the whole time!

4.  Your child may not be welcomed or accepted every where you go.  It's hard to experience but it's true, especially if you travel internationally.  People may point or stare or ask awkward questions.  Try your best not to take it personally or to go on the offensive.  Lots of people just don't know any better.  (It hurts.  It just does.  Try to wait until after your child is in bed for the night to cry about it.)  Just to be clear, the number of kind, welcoming, accepting people has far outweighed the ignorant, unkind ones in our travels.  But those negative interactions tend to stick in my head.    


Tips:

1.  Travel with people who know and love your child.  I fly alone with Sara but we are always meeting people on the other end that love and adore her (and me).  I'm sure that there are people who take trips with their child alone.  I'm just not one of them.  Having support of friends and family that love us is invaluable to me.  It keeps me sane when things get tough.  It's nice to know that at least one person will hang back with you when you fall behind the group or wait for you while she goes to the bathroom for the millionth time or bring you breakfast in the airport when you haven't slept all night.

2.  Know that it will be hard.  Vacations are no longer relaxing for me.  I used to listen to music and read on the plane.  And on the beach.  Now I'm making sure she has everything she needs and giving her my phone to keep her happy.  I'm squishing into little plane bathrooms (because she loves them) and swimming in the ocean.  It's not about me.  It's about her having experiences and being happy.  I know that going in.

3.  Plan things that are both in and out of your child's comfort zone.  I'm all for Sara experiencing new things but I also know she needs some time in her comfort zone.  For example, instead of tacos every night, I made sure we went to a restaurant where she could get a hot dog.  She needs some familiar in her unfamiliar.  (Don't we all?)

4.  Start when they are little.  Start when they are smaller and portable.  Get them used to traveling early.  It will only get harder as they are older.

5.  Be prepared for the negative behavior.  Expect it.  We were gone for 8 days.  I took 12 pairs of shorts and underwear for her.  (It was still not enough. Ugh.)  I knew she would have at least one major meltdown.  I usually still take her stroller and her noise cancelling headphones.  I fly with a HUGE backpack of everything she could possibly need.  I try to be prepared for every possibility.  (I was not prepared for the headphones to break on the first day.)  

6.  Schedule some down time when you get home.  When it was just me, I used to fly on a Sunday night and work on Monday morning.  (Or sometimes fly on Monday morning and go straight to work.)  I don't do that anymore.  I know that we will both need some recovery time after a trip.  Some down time in our comfort zones.

I don't have all the answers and I don't get everything right.  I just believe that if you ever want to be able to travel with your child, you should start young.  Go to the places you want them to experience.  And then buckle up because it will be a bumpy ride but so worth it!

This group was so helpful to me last week.  

If you want to see more about our trip, you can check out our Facebook page.

Missions Trip

In 2003, I went on my first missions trip with Park Community Church.  My sister had been many times and I was so excited to finally get to go.  (I mean...speaking Spanish, working with kids, Latin America.  Some of my favorite things!)  It was my first taste of the Mission at Foundation for His Ministry in Vicente Guerrero, Baja California, Mexico.  I was hooked.  I went back in 2004 with another team.

In 2005, I went for the summer.  I was now addicted.  I went every single break I had from school and spent the summers of 2006 and 2007 down there as well.  In 2008, I quit my job and moved down there to work in the Day Home with children with special needs.  I thought I'd be there forever but God had other plans.  (Namely, a little girl in Colombia.)  I came home in April 2009 and picked up my life where I had left off.

I didn't visit the mission again for quite some time.  I had some healing to do.  I've since been for a few days at a time but I haven't been back for a full week since 2009 and I haven't been as part of a team since 2004.  Until now.  From August 7-13, 2016, I will be leading a group from North Darien Bible Church to my favorite place on earth.  I can't wait to share this experience with some great people from a new chapter of my life.

Right now, we have a committed team of 5 (including Sara, my mother, and I) with quite a few possible team members.  I can't wait to see who ends up in the final group!

It seems a little odd to me to be fund raising for a trip I've made before but things are a little different (and a little more expensive) with a group.  (Although this is very reasonable compared to a lot of other trips.)   I'll also have the added responsibility of leading the group!  (I've lead senior trips to places like St Louis but I've never led a group on a missions trip.)

I'm waiting to hear if the team can accept tax-deductible donations through the church.  (We aren't an official church sponsored trip at this point.)  Until then, I have set up a youcaring link to accept donations for the trip if you feel led.  All donations are very appreciated.

I have a blog post with current fund raisers.  I'll update it up until the trip.  Please check it out!  

More than anything, I ask for your prayers.  I've never led a missions trip before.  This is all new to me.  It's definitely different than planning a vacation or leading a school trip.  Pray for the right people to join the team.  Pray for safety.  Pray for the team members hearts as well as the people we minister to.  Pray for the staff at the mission.

Want to see a little more of what we'll be doing?  Check out this video!  (It was made when I was living there!)  

You can follow our journey on our Facebook page!  

Missions Trip Fund Raisers

Current Fund Raisers:

You Caring Link

Avon Link - 20% of each purchase will go to the missions trip.  Please follow my facebook page for sales and special codes.

Amazon Link - a percentage of each purchase  made through this link will go to the missions trip.  (The percentage varies.)  

Scarves and Skirts for Sara - Hand knit items.  50%  of each purchase goes to the missions trip.  Custom orders accepted!

Baja T-Shirts - Each shirt is $20 including shipping.  Shirts can be ordered on this form.



Future Fund Raisers:
Online Auction

2013 - What A Year it Was!!

I'm obviously a little late with my 2013 post.  I've been a "little" busy and I was trying to decide if I would do a 2013 post or a first year together post.  Since I'm now late for both and they pretty much coincide, here it is:

January

• I honestly can't tell you what happened between January 1st and 12th.  I know I worked for a week or so but the rest is a blur.  There was some strategic packing and that's about all I know.
  

January 12  to March 7

• January 12 - I got on a plane and left my old life behind.  My mom met up with me on the second leg of my trip.  It's a good thing she did or I may not have gotten on the plane.  
  
• Janury 14 - I finally met my little girl.
  
• January 20 - I got to meet Claudia for the first time.  Her parents and I had walked through the process together.  It was so nice to finally meet her and to have them at the hotel with us.  
  
• January 22 - I agreed to move forward with the legal process and become this little girl's mother.  
  
• Colombia is kind of a blur.  We spent a lot of time waiting for the phone to ring and as much time as possible hanging out with other families.
  
   
• Daily walks quickly became a part of our routine.  
  
• Jason and I got really brave and took our girls to the Children's Museum.  I was so impressed with how well they handled our girls.  
  
• We visited the orphanage briefly and I got to meet Sara's BFF.  
  
• We had several adventures with Jason and Claudia---including getting caught in the afternoon rains in their matching strollers.  
  
• We ate out a lot.  
  
• We got to meet Gracie and her family.  
  
• We spent a lot of time hanging out at the park.  
  
• Sara got her US visa on March 6.  She spent the waiting time chasing pigeons.  
  
• Leaving meant saying goodbye to some great people, including our facilitator.
  
• Sara did very well on the flights and became a US citizen when we landed in Atlanta.  
  
• We finally arrived home March 7.  We were tired but happy and so excited to see so many friends and family at the airport.
  

March

• My mom came to Chicago when we arrived home so she got to spend some time reuniting with Sara.  
  
• Sara had a photo shoot done by my friend Katie of 5 Boys + 1 Girl = 6.  She did such a great job with Sara and I will always treasure these photos taken during her first days home.  
  
• We made our first trip to NY to see my family.  I'd say the admiration is pretty mutual.  
  
• Sara had her first eye doctor appointment in March.  She was not impressed with the dilation process.  Not even McDonalds french fries could console her.  
  
• We celebrated our first Easter together in March.  A sweet friend invited us over for dinner.  I tried to get Sara to eat one green bean.  The gagging and crying was impressive.  
  

April

• I had to go back to work in April.  Sara started school and the babysitter on the same day.  She handled it much better than I did.  
  
• Sara got her glasses in April.  They weren't quite the hit we hoped they'd be.  
  
• Tia Janelle came into town for a wedding.  Sara loved meeting her and loved the wedding.  
  
• Sara made her first trip to the zoo.  She loved it.  
  

May

• We did our first 5k together.  I walked.  Sara rode.  It doesn't seem quite fair that her time was a second shorter than mine.  
  
• May brought our first Mother's Day together and Sara's dedication.  She acted exactly the way I thought she would.  Exactly. 
  
   

June

• June brought the end of the school year for both of us and a summer of adventures and traveling.  
  
• We spent a week in NY to see my brother graduate  from high school and visit with friends and family.  
  
• Sara is a huge fan of water and spent as much of her summer as possible in a swim suit.  This includes the weekend we spent in Michigan with my friend Becky and her family.  
  

July

• I'm not usually an over-patriotic person but the 4th of July meant just a little bit more this year with my new citizen.  
  
• Sara was in her first wedding on July 5th.  She was incredibly crabby moments before the ceremony but turned on the charm and did a great job.  She danced the night away with anyone and everyone.  
  
• July brought on an epic road trip.  4 weeks.  8 states.  Thousands of miles and countless hours.  Our first stop was in OH.   I got to meet a great family that I had gotten to know online during our adoption processes.  It was so nice to spend some time with another mother who just gets what my life looks like now.  
  
• We went camping in Maine for a week. Camping for us means lots of people in an RV!  Sara got to meet my dad's entire family and got to spend some quality time with my family.  
  
• We ended up with an "extra" week in NY so we went to visit Circle C Ranch.  It was fun to go back and see just how much hasn't change in the last 20 years.  
  
• The extra week also meant a little extra cousin time.  
  

August

• We spent a week in Mexico and California with Anna visiting with old friends and reminiscing about our time living there.  We even got to spend a couple of days with Tia Janelle.
  
   
• Sara turned 5 in August.  We spent the day at the San Diego Zoo with Tia Janelle, Tia Anna, and Jonathon.  She got ice cream with a candle after dinner.  She was a little overwhelmed by all the attention.  
  
• We had a small birthday party at the house with some friends.  She has since mastered the ability to blow out candles but all she could do at her birthday was blow her bangs up.  
  
• My little munchkin started Kindergarten a week after her 5th birthday.  
  

September

• We went to Fair Oaks farm to use a groupon before it expired.  She loves all things animals.  It was our first big day trip with just the two of us.  
  
• Sara got invited to her first birthday party.  She was NOT a fan of laser tag.  She made it about 37 seconds.  
  
• We celebrated 6 Months Home on the 7th.  
  
• Sara had her first dentist appointment in September.  She did so well and her teeth look great. 
  
• Sara was involved in a preschool sports program at the park district in the fall.  She loved the soccer unit.  The rest of the sports weren't quite as fun in her mind.  
  
• A brand new Gigi's Playhouse opened in Oak Forest in September.  We are so lucky to have such a great resource so close to home!  
  

October

• Sara was a flower girl in my friend Megan's wedding in Florida in October.  We flew down for the weekend.  She got to experience the beach for the first time and we spent most of our weekend in the hotel pool.  It was interesting to travel with pretty much just the two of us.  Sara did so well at the wedding.  It's amazing how grown up and well-behaved she can be when you put a pretty dress on her.  
  
• We made a trip to Indy to visit with my dear friend Anna and to dress shop for her upcoming wedding.  Sara LOVES dress shopping.  Mom's not quite as big a fan.  
  
• October brought a lot of drama with school and eventually a new placement.  (And a pretty cute school picture!)  
  
• We went to a local pumpkin patch with a group from church.  Sara loved every single moment of it.  She had a hard time transitioning between activities.  She just wasn't convinced that any thing else could be more fun than what she was currently doing.  She was an absolute mess at the end of the day.  There is still straw in my car.  I'm still trying to figure out why no one else had children that were quite as dirty as mine.  
  
• We really didn't celebrate Halloween.  I just didn't think Sara was ready.  She did get to wear a princess dress to school, though.  I spent the next several weeks trying to explain to her that she couldn't wear one every day. 
  

November

• We spent Thanksgiving in NY with my family.  This always means lots of time with Nana, Grandpa and the Uncles and visits with the cousins.
  
•  We also got to play with the VanHalles while we were in NY.  It's so fun to watch Claudia grow and change.  Maybe some day these two girls won't be afraid of each other.  
  

December

• December brought our first Christmas season together.  I was VERY excited and we started celebrating pretty early.  Sara loved everything Christmas.  She especially loved pictures and figures of Santa.  She's not so sure about the actual guy.  
  
• Sara got invited to attend a Princess Ball and my dad just happened to be in town that weekend for work.  (He's never been here for work before!)  Sara loved it.  Dad claims not to but I know he did.  After all, he was the grandfather of the belle of the ball.  
  
  
  
• December brought the first real snow.  Sara loves it as long as it doesn't touch her skin.  I actually thought at one point that she had broken her arm while we were shoveling.  It took me a while to figure out that some of the snow had fallen into her sleeve and that was the source of the screaming and wailing.  
  
• We spent our Christmas break with my family in NY.  Sara just loves being around all of my family and they certainly love her.  
  
• 2013 ended in Maine.  We knew my grandmother wasn't doing well so my dad, brother, Sara, and I went up to Maine to visit and to spend New Years with my dad's family.  New Year's Eve was uneventful to say the least.  (I think we were asleep before 10.)  I'm so glad that we got up there, though, and got to see Ma one last time.