Moving On

So, I realize that I have not updated in forever.  Months and months.  Please tell me it hasn't been a year...

I really started to struggle with what to tell and what to protect.  I want to portray adoption honestly but I also need to keep my baby's best interest at the forefront of everything I do.  Especially since I stupidly used my name when I started this blog long before adoption was even on my radar.  I just haven't known what to share.  But, I'm going to try to resurrect the blog with a slightly different angle.  At least for now.

I grew up in a small town.  That's really where I'm most comfortable.  After college, I moved to Chicago and then left that for the suburbs about 9 years ago.  In so many ways, I've grown up here.  I am certainly not the scared 22 year old that moved here from small town NY and a corn field in OH.  But the time has come to move on.

In a few short weeks, little Missy and I will be moving here:

Definitely going to be different than where I've been for the last five years:

And nothing like where the munchkin spent the first 4 1/2 years of her life:

It'll be so hard to say goodbye.  My last day at my job is Tuesday.  My job is exhausting on every level possible but I love my students and my co-workers have been my family here for the last 13 years.  I still can't even process what life after E will look like.  

I worry about Little Missy's adjustment.  She has moved so many times in her young life.  She has bonded so well.  (Sometimes it feels like too well.  She stays with no one but my parents.)  I know that long-term this move will be so good for her but she doesn't really understand what the next few months hold.  She loves school and she is so loved there.  We have our Gigi's friends and a great babysitter.  She adores my friends here and they have all been unbelievably accepting of her.  So much change for a little heart that has already lost so much.  

Even though there are probably a hundred reasons to stay, I know there are a million to go.  Many of them being the tears that my daughter sheds when we pull into our driveway after a visit at my parents' house.  She knows that Nana and Grandpa are far away.  And she's not ok with it.  She loves them and their animals and country life in general.  Our reasons for moving:

The next step on Life's Amazing Journey is taking us to the country and my parents' small farm.  I can't wait to update about life in the country and how this little girl thrives with fresh air, animals and lots of space.  

And, who knows, maybe this move will lead to some other big announcements in the future.  Stay tuned....

2014 - Our Year in Review - Part 1

I know.  I've been very negligent when it comes to updates.  It's certainly not because there aren't things going on.  Maybe it's because there is too much going on.  Here's a summary of our 2014:

January:

We rang in the New Year in Maine with my Dad and my brother.  Our actual New Years Eve was not very exciting.

However, I got to spend New Years Day with my grandmother, aunts, uncles, and many of my cousins.  We picked my Uncle up to take him to see my grandmother.  He himself had been in the hospital since the fall.  It was fun to be with him while he experienced life outside of those four walls for the first time in months.  Sadly, my grandmother passed away two days later.  

On the 14th, we celebrated one year together.  

We went to Disney Princesses on Ice.  It's possible that Tia and Mommy enjoyed it a little more than Sara.  

The rest of the month was cold, snowy, and uneventful.  

February:  

February was more cold and snow.  

March:

In March, we got to meet our friends the Aschoffs in real life.  They also have a daughter from Colombia.  We met up with them at the IDSC's meet up at Great Wolf Lodge.  Sara was in her glory!  

We rocked our socks for World Down Syndrome Day! 

April:

We drove to Cincinnati and  NY for Spring Break.  Sara is a serious road trip warrior.  

We got to hang out with the Allison family in Cincinnati and meet their newest additions.  They adopted their son around the same time that I adopted Sara. 

A few days later, we flew to Maine for my grandmother's memorial service.  

Sara started swimming lessons.  

We had a quiet Easter with just the two of us.  

And then my poor baby got pneumonia.  

Sara took a tumbling class.  

May:

Sara rode a pony at her school's Family Fun Night.  This was something she refused to do in the fall.  

We did a 5k for my work.  She ran some, walked some, and rode some.

She loved the Memorial Day parade.

June:  

She was in her first ever school program!

My baby finished Kindergarten.

We were both in Tia Anna's wedding.  

I officially finished my 14th year of teaching.  

Sara went to summer school in the mornings for a few weeks while I tried to remember what I used to do before she consumed every minute of my life.

We made a quick trip back to New York to see my brother George graduate from high school.

I love her confidence.  

Check back soon for the rest of the year!

Letters to My Daughter - My Heart for You

Mija,

Tonight, as I sat in your bed rocking you to sleep, I started praying for you.  This isn't something I do often enough but I poured out my heart in that quiet, dark, precious moment.  I prayed that you will be an over-comer.  That you will over come the first four years of your life.  That you will over come your rough start in school. Most of all, I prayed that you will over come your mommy's imperfections.  I mess up far more often than I'd like but I know that you are thriving in spite of my mistakes.

I am in awe of you and who you are.  When you fall asleep in my lap or when I check on you at night, I am in amazed that you are sleeping in my house.  That I have been entrusted with your little life.  I can't help but smile when I see your adorable little face in my rear view mirror.  Most of the time, it seems crazy to me that I have this little person in the back seat of my car and that I am responsible for that little person.  And, when you call my name or kiss my cheek, I often tear up because this amazing little person actually loves me and calls me mom.  Some days, I am overwhelmed by the responsibility.  Other days, I am in awe of the privilege that I have been given.

We've been together for a year now and I've seen so many changes in you.  You are talking and communicating so much.  I honestly think I hear a new word from you almost every day.  You are so proud to try out new words, signs, and sounds.  We both get frustrated when I don't understand you but you've come so far.

You have matured so much.  You are calmer and you can take a minute to listen before totally losing it.  Sometimes there are still some less-than-stellar moments but we are working through those together.  You want to do the right thing and you want to be good.  We haven't used the stroller in months.  You even managed to walk through the mall without too much trouble.

You love life.  There are still so many aspects of every day life that are new to you.  You've really enjoyed the snow this winter (until you get wet).  You love going new places and seeing new things.  You've gotten a little less sure about new people but you warm up quickly.

You are learning that you can't have everything.  While this might seem silly to include, it's such a huge thing.  You don't expect me to buy you something when we go to the store.  You can look at something and then put it back.  You don't expect anything from anyone, really.  So, when you get a special treat, you are so very grateful.

You are so determined and a great problem solver.  You want to do things for yourself and you want to help everyone you meet.  Sometimes you're problem solving skills border on manipulation but I know that your determination and creativity will take you so far.

Sara---I am so proud of the little girl that you are becoming.  Sometimes, it breaks my heart to see you growing up so quickly.  You are not the little toddler that I met a year ago.  You are a fiercely independent 5-year-old who doesn't always need her mom.  But, when you're tired, and you ask to be my baby, I will gladly rock you in my lap.  I promise you that I will hold you as long as you let me.  You can be my baby as long as you need because I will always be your mom.

Te Amo Mija,
Your Mom

February 2014

Family Photo Shoot

My family does photos every five years.  It involves quite a bit of whining but we know that every 5 years we are getting them done.  I will admit to being a part of the whining but most of it comes from the male members of the family.  

It's fun to look at the photos because we've added someone to every picture.  We started in 1995.  The boys were so little then.  In 2000, we added my brother Rob.  In 2005, my sister-in-law Amy joined the group.  In 2010, my niece Grace made her first family photo appearance.

Our 2010 picture.  

Since 2010, we have added my niece Kinsley and Sara.  I wanted to do pictures again since they will all be so big in 2015 and there will be at least one more addition to the picture by then.  There were a couple of hold-outs of the male persuasion in the family and I hold no power to convince at least one of them.  So, we decided to do just the women this time around.  (Everyone will be in the 2015 picture.)

Sisters

Mother and daughters

All the women

Cousins - Take 1

Cousins - Take 2

Cousins - Take 3

Nana and her granddaughters