Revealing

One of my biggest internal struggles since being home is how much of our story to reveal to strangers and new people in our lives.  It's rare that we actually meet people who don't know anything about our story.  (Even the eye doctor knew who we were before we got there.)  Medical professionals need to know.  It's relevant to her story.  The school knows because, again, it's relevant to her current status.  I'm talking more about people that we run into randomly or rarely.

For example, we went to a bridal shower on Sunday.  The bride, maid of honor, and their mothers know Sara's story.  I didn't have a problem with them sharing it.  I'm just not sure if I'll still want people sharing it with everyone in a year or two.  (Maybe the novelty will wear off and people won't care any more.)  The waitress was asking a lot of questions---mainly because Anna and I were speaking Spanish to Sara.  She asked if Sara knew any English---that it was "freaking the busboy" out that we were speaking Spanish to her.  I didn't really give her any info.  I just told her that Sara doesn't speak any English for now.

Another example:  We hung out with three other mom/kid pairs at the zoo.  During lunch, I was chatting with one of the moms.  She was asking lots of questions about different things.  I mentioned having to chaperone prom.  She said "Oh, you and your husband?"  I answered with "just me."  I know what she was getting at but I just didn't want to answer more questions.  She also asked if we had just moved to this town.  She seemed surprised when I said no.  Her response was "I'm surprised Sara wasn't in this class before now."  It would have been easy to say why but I just changed the topic of conversation.

I won't hide from Sara that she's adopted.  I'm just not sure how free I should be with other people when it comes to that information.  Some of it is that I don't want to hear how wonderful I am.  The other part is that I feel like Sara should just be Sara---not some poor orphan that was rescued from poverty and an orphanage.  That was her life before.  Now, she is my daughter.  It's that simple.

Zoo Trip 2 - Lincoln Park Zoo

On Friday, I chaperoned a field trip that Sara's class took to the zoo.  There are about 8 kids in each the morning and afternoon class but only 5 kids went.  Each had a parent with them.  To be honest, I'm not really sure what the school staff did all day since we all had our own kids.

Half asleep but ready to go.

Sara was SUPER confused by the whole situation.  I told her we were going to the zoo with friends.  We went to school in the morning.  (She goes in the afternoon.)  We took her harness (which she wears on the bus) and that just about put her over the edge.  When we got to school, the secretaries (who apparently love her) took her back to the room and left me in the office.  By the time I got to her room, she was crying in the aide's lap.  (She is not a crier.)  She was INCREDIBLY clingy and whiny until we got settled on the bus.

We spent the day with three other kids from her class and their moms.  It was nice to get to know some local moms a little bit.  I know very few people in my town.  I just haven't had a reason to meet too many people until now.  

Look how tiny my girl is!  All those kids are almost 5.

The two girls.  How cute are they?

It was pretty cold and rainy but the kids had a good time.  (We parents were much whinier about it than the kids.)  Sara spent a lot of time trying to get everyone to put their hoods up.

I don't think she's ever used an umbrella before.  She was kind of dangerous.  

The polar bear was not her favorite part.  She was in between those two kids but fled when he got so close.  

Her favorite part was definitely chasing the pigeons.  If that girls gets any faster, I'll never be able to catch her.  I wish I could have taken video.  The look of pure joy on her face and her crazy giggle were priceless.  I was too busy trying to keep up to be able to take pictures or video, though.

The tree house was also a highlight.  She made it all the way through but backed up traffic quite a bit.  The teacher/mom in me really had to hold back so I didn't yell at every kid that plowed over her while she decided where to go next.  Rude!!!  She had a pretty good meltdown when I pulled her out at the end.  She was going to turn around and head back in.  Fortunately, it was just about time to head to the bus.  I think a full day was just too much for her.  

Overall, I would call it a success.  (My shoulders and back beg to differ right now.  I'm not used to carrying 35lbs!)  I had some interesting thoughts, realizations, and conversations that I'll share in another post.  (Like how much of our story to share with new people, moms talking about how they were done having kids since they were already 35,  and how far behind my girlie really is.)  For now, I'm going to bed.  I'm still tired from that trip.