Moving On

So, I realize that I have not updated in forever.  Months and months.  Please tell me it hasn't been a year...

I really started to struggle with what to tell and what to protect.  I want to portray adoption honestly but I also need to keep my baby's best interest at the forefront of everything I do.  Especially since I stupidly used my name when I started this blog long before adoption was even on my radar.  I just haven't known what to share.  But, I'm going to try to resurrect the blog with a slightly different angle.  At least for now.

I grew up in a small town.  That's really where I'm most comfortable.  After college, I moved to Chicago and then left that for the suburbs about 9 years ago.  In so many ways, I've grown up here.  I am certainly not the scared 22 year old that moved here from small town NY and a corn field in OH.  But the time has come to move on.

In a few short weeks, little Missy and I will be moving here:

Definitely going to be different than where I've been for the last five years:

And nothing like where the munchkin spent the first 4 1/2 years of her life:

It'll be so hard to say goodbye.  My last day at my job is Tuesday.  My job is exhausting on every level possible but I love my students and my co-workers have been my family here for the last 13 years.  I still can't even process what life after E will look like.  

I worry about Little Missy's adjustment.  She has moved so many times in her young life.  She has bonded so well.  (Sometimes it feels like too well.  She stays with no one but my parents.)  I know that long-term this move will be so good for her but she doesn't really understand what the next few months hold.  She loves school and she is so loved there.  We have our Gigi's friends and a great babysitter.  She adores my friends here and they have all been unbelievably accepting of her.  So much change for a little heart that has already lost so much.  

Even though there are probably a hundred reasons to stay, I know there are a million to go.  Many of them being the tears that my daughter sheds when we pull into our driveway after a visit at my parents' house.  She knows that Nana and Grandpa are far away.  And she's not ok with it.  She loves them and their animals and country life in general.  Our reasons for moving:

The next step on Life's Amazing Journey is taking us to the country and my parents' small farm.  I can't wait to update about life in the country and how this little girl thrives with fresh air, animals and lots of space.  

And, who knows, maybe this move will lead to some other big announcements in the future.  Stay tuned....

Overwhelmed

I've been really overwhelmed lately with the thought that this time last year Sara was gearing up for another Christmas in another orphanage.  She was in a nice place so I'm sure they did something for Christmas Day but not to the extent she will celebrate this year.

Sara has been given the opportunity to go to a Princess Ball held at a local hotel and sponsored by the Oak Lawn Children's Museum.  If you know Sara at all, you know that this is a dream come true for her.  She loves all things princess and dressing up.  She loves to eat and dance.  This is pretty much her ideal day.  I'm so honored that she was chosen to go and I know she will love it.  This is what really started me thinking about how much her life has changed.  

Her life has changed not just because she has a mommy who loves her but because she has a whole community of friends and family that love her.  I didn't buy her these tickets.  Someone chose to give them to her.  It's a father/daughter event so I can't go with her.  My father is taking her.  She doesn't have winter dress shoes.  A "fairy godmother" is taking her shopping before the ball.  As much as I want to do it all for her, I just can't.  

I have friends that jump at the chance to help out with her, to watch her, to love on her.  I have a family that can't wait to see her and spend time with her.  I have a church community that has been incredibly accepting.  I have a Gigi's playhouse around the corner where I am simply Sara's mom because it's all about the kids.  

This time last year, I was planning a Thanksgiving Pity Party with my friend Angie because our girls weren't home yet and wouldn't be home for Christmas.  Our girls were unaware of how hard their moms were working to bring them home.  They were celebrating another Christmas without us and we were counting down the days until mid-January.  

This year, we are planning a fun outing with our amazing little princesses.  Both girls are growing and developing and learning so quickly.   Both are girls are loved and accepted in our families, churches, communities and in their schools.  

So, as I stress about packing, work, and my to-do list, I need to take a deep breath and remember that this Thanksgiving is different.  This Thanksgiving I am grateful for the little girl who has forever changed my life.  I am thankful for those who helped her get home.  I am thankful for those in my life who continue to encourage me as I figure out this parenting thing.  I am thankful for people who laugh along side of me at her antics.  I am thankful that I have the privilege of being Sara's mommy.  

Boo! My Thoughts on Halloween

I don't like Halloween.  At all.  I love fall:  pumpkins, colored leaves, cooler weather, hoodies, harvest.  I do not, however, like Halloween.  I don't even think I really liked it as a kid.  (My sister and brother accuse me of having forgotten most of our childhood.  Maybe I forgot the years I liked trick-or-treating.)

It's not a religious thing like a lot of people might assume.  I just think it's dumb.  I don't understand dressing up and begging for candy from people you don't know.  I just don't get why that's fun.  Don't even get me started on celebrating a holiday that glorifies bats.  

I haven't really had to deal with Halloween much as an adult.  When I lived in apartments, it was easy to just ignore it.  The first year that I was in my house, I thought it would be really fun to have trick-or-treaters.  I bought a TON of candy.  I wanted to talk to the kids and ask about their costumes.  I wanted them to say trick-or-treat.  Very few kids showed up.  The ones that did were not chatty.  And what's with the parents having a bag?  Seriously?   

Last year was my second Halloween in my house.  I went out to dinner and a movie with a friend.  We saw Pitch Perfect and loved it.  There was almost no one in the theater.  It was great!  That's my idea of a fun holiday.

I've been saying since last year that I'm not going to take Sara trick-or-treating.  It doesn't sound like fun to me at all.  And, she doesn't know what it is so she won't know what she's missing.  Growing up, we lived in a  small town and only went to houses of people we knew.  My dad drove us around.  To do that with Sara would take hours.  Our friends are so spread out.  And, it would involve getting in and out of the car seat repeatedly.  (Not any one's idea of a good time.)   I don't know anyone in my neighborhood and the thought of getting food from strangers just makes me really nervous.

Those were my concerns before I knew Sara.  Now I know for a fact that I will not take her trick-or-treating this year.  

Sara is a mooch.  She will be best friends with anyone who has food.  It doesn't matter if she knows them or not.  She cuddles up next to them and is eating their food in no time.  Obviously, this is a major problem and cannot continue.  It's something I am working on constantly.

Sara is also very loving to everyone she meets.  She doesn't know what a stranger is and would go with anyone she met.  This is also a major problem and something I am trying to address.

Do you see why I think trick-or-treating is a bad idea?  Let's ring a door bell and ask a perfect stranger for food!  I can see it now--she will be sitting on someone's couch with their candy bowl in her lap.  And I'll get slapped and bitten when I try to get her to leave.  This is a scene I can live without!  

Maybe next year we'll be ready for trick-or-treating.  This year, she can wear her costume to her new school.  (Yay for a new school!)  On Sunday we are going to a Halloween party at Gigi's Playhouse where she can trick-or-treat and wear her costume.  On Thursday night, we will go out to eat and to the movies.  Maybe I'll even let her wear her costume.

The Secret Club

A continuation of the zoo post from the other day:

When we got to the zoo on Sunday, we saw that there was a table set up for Autism Speaks and the place was crazy crowded.  Apparently, it was Zoos Go Blue across the country.  (I'll admit.  My first thought had to do with the fact that it was Sunday and I wasn't at work and didn't want to see any of my students.)

As the day went on, we saw tons of kids with different disabilities.  I tend to notice kids in general but I definitely notice kids with disabilities.  I always want to stop and talk to their families and encourage them.  Taking your child into multiple settings and giving them as many life experiences as possible is one of the best things you can do for any child.

I noticed an interesting phenomenon as the day wore on.  Every child or adult that we passed with Down syndrome stared at Sara.  Most of the time when I look at her, I just see a beautiful little girl.  I don't see the Down syndrome characteristics.  Maybe they are immediately apparent to others but I just don't see them most of the time.  One young man stared and waved when she had her sunglasses on.  (This really surprised me.  How can he tell if he can't see her eyes?)  Somehow, they all just know.  They are part of a special club and they instantly recognize the other members.

When Katie did Sara's photo shoot, her daughter and Sara instantly bonded.  Katie said that Grace is usually upset when people come to get photos done.  That was not the case with us.  Grace and I played while Sara took pics.  Then Grace and Sara took some beautiful photos together.  They'd never met but they became immediate friends.

Years ago, I took my students to the flagship McDonalds restaurant in the western suburbs.  There was a young woman working there.  I think she was cleaning tables or sweeping the floor or something.  One of my students came up to me very excited and said:  "She's just like me."  Yep.  The both had Down syndrome.


I also love the camaraderie that comes from other moms.   I first experienced it in Colombia when we ran into a young woman with Down syndrome and her mom in the market.  Her mom gave me a nod and a smile that let me know I'm in my own secret club now.  I experienced the same thing at the zoo last week.  The kids have their club but so do the parents.

The other day, Sara and I got to visit the site of the new Gigi's Playhouse that is opening in Oak Forest in the fall.  I am facebook friends with the woman who is starting it but I haven't actually met her.  We stopped by to drop off some donations and I instantly felt at home.  Sara was instantly embraced and so was I.  I can't wait for the center to actually open!  Until then, I'll enjoy the waves, nods, and smiles of the secret clubs Sara and I belong to.