Mother's Day has never been my favorite holiday. In the last ten years, I've grown to hate it. I love my mom but I couldn't tell you the last time I was actually with her for a Mother's Day--one of the many downfalls of living 600 miles from your family.
For me, Mother's Day has been a yearly reminder of what I don't have in my life. Mother's Day is, after all, to celebrate women who have children. I think in recent years, people have been more sensitive of women with fertility issues or women who have lost babies. However, I've never heard anyone acknowledge the group that I fall into---women who want nothing more than to have a family but just haven't found the right guy to start one with. Nothing like walking out of a church service in tears because you've been reminded again that, for what ever reason, you don't have the one thing you want in your life.
This year, I have a slightly different take on Mother's Day. This year, it's all about next year. Yes. I have a daughter. Sort of. This year, I will spend Mother's Day thinking about my little girl and how she will soon be in my arms. I will probably still cry and my heart will still break for all the wonderful women that I know who want nothing more than to be mothers.
But, this year, I have the hope of next year.
Sorry for your pain, but happy for next year! :)
ReplyDeleteI had a dream the other night that you & Sara were here. Sara was taking a nap upstairs & when she woke up she kept calling, "Mama, Mama," until you went & got her!! It was so sweet! Next year!!
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you for posting this. I have struggled with Mother's day for years. While I was married I had several miscarriages. My last baby died in my arm's when she was 6 hours old. I have grown to hate Mother's day it just brings me back to a very painful time in my life. I take comfort in the fact that God know's, my heart and he has a plan for all of us. Keep up the good work it's all in his plan=) I can't wait for you to bring Sara home. What a joy that will be!
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